GROW Model - Coaching questions to consider

I recently came across the GROW model which I think complements my own RAGE model quite nicely when it comes to inspecting aspirations and goals. It's all about seeking clarity through questions:

Goal - What do you want? What's your desired outcomes (Aspirations)?

• What would you notice if you were performing in this area more proficiently?
• What would others notice if you were performing in this area more proficiently?
• What would be the benefits to your team / family / business / friends of you gaining proficiency in this area?
• What is the short- and long-term impact of you not enhancing in this area?

Reality - What's your current situation? Be brutally honest about current reality.

• What is the current state of your proficiency in this area?
• What have you done till date to develop proficiency in this area?
• What has helped your progress?
• What has held you back?
• How long have you been working on enhancing yourself in this area?
• Where do you feel stuck?
• What perceptions about yourself might be getting in your way?
• Are these perceptions accurate? How do you know?

Options - Exploring possibilities / Expectations. What could you do?

• What do you feel you need to gain proficiency in this area?
• What are the possible actions you can take to enhance yourself in this area?
• What else can you do? Probe deeper
• Now that you are aware of the possibilities, which one would you try first?
• What would you like to have happen?
• If you do nothing, what will be the impact?
• What does the wiser part of you tell you?
• If you were coaching someone on enhancing themselves in this area, what might you say to them?
• If there were no limitations/restrictions, what might you do?
• What options are within your control?

Will - What will you do? Commitment / Next Steps? 

• What support do you need to be successful in your next steps?
• What obstacles do you anticipate? How will you navigate them?
• How might you motivate yourself when things get tough?
• Who might be able to help you in achieving your next steps?
  

My wall art graffiti project from 2020, just before covid

So this post is a long time coming. Back in early 2020, just before lockdown hit us, my wife and I decided to take on a bold project by transforming our property's boundary wall into an art project. Our house was on the edge of a park, frequented by weekend warrior cyclists riding the Braamfontein spruit to Alberts Farm in Gauteng, which I used to ride as often as I could. 

So my wife and I thought it would be cool to show our appreciation for the spruit and cyclists by creating a mural using our property's boundary wall as the canvas. 

We contracted a cool graffiti artist, Nic, who goes by @dekor_one, check his work out!

Here's the journey that was, became and still is.... alas we moved to Cape Town the same year, and only got to spend 9 months appreciating the project...two years on and the artwork is still fresh!

My 2022 mid-year review of Life/Work streams

Tis the period of mid-year performance reviews in the workplace, so I decided to inspect my own personal performance with my time tracking metrics covering the dimensions that make up my life and work streams. 

I've been tracking these metrics for a number of years already and at least once a year, share the analytics and insights from this lifelong experiment. I created the term Personametry which basically is about telemetry (metrics) about the self (personal). Feeding Personametry is a framework I've created for myself for personal and professional development, my RAGE model.

At the start of 2022 I shared insights from my past six years of tracking and also followed up another post zooming in on the 2021 year, highlighting the main time sinks and the impact on other related streams. I set a goal of turning things around in 2022 to get to a state of balance I enjoyed prior to 2021.

With half the year over, 2022 is fairing much better than 2021 - as I've been very intentional about the changes. 

Here are the headlines (comparing 2022 with 2021 for the first 7 months, January to July):

• Work hours is down 28%
• Spirituality is up 53%
• Family time is up 27%
• Social time is up 75%
• Overall "Me Time" is up 16%

Holistically then, my process of re-calibrating in 2022 is having the desired effect. I'm spending time in the areas I've prioritized without significantly compromising on a major stream like my work (work obviously provides for the lifestyle I'm grateful for).

For more insights, check out the embedded slideshow :-)

In terms of my overall happiness sentiment and tracking my aspirations and goals as governed by my RAGE model, I'll share in a separate post in September '22. I've started to warm up more and more to Mo Gawdats' happiness formula which has helped me in coming to terms with the turbulence I've experienced with my job/career decision to disrupt and reinvent myself...stay tuned for the next write up!

Sharing Ramadan Itikaf Snippets

Ramadan is known as the Muslim month of fasting, one of the five pillars of Islam. The last ten days of Ramadan, especially the last odd nights in this period, are considered very blessed. As was the practice of the prophet Muhammad (May God's Peace and blessings be upon Muhammad and his family & descendents), he would spend the last 10 days in seclusion in the Masjid, immersed in various acts of devotionals. We commonly refer to this tradition as "sitting for Itikaf". This became part of his Sunnah, which the vast majority of Muslims include as part of their belief system (i.e. to follow both the Qur'an and Prophet Muhammad's Sunnah).

I sat my first Itikaf in 2018, at the age of 40. Since then, I vowed to sit every year until my death, no matter what the situation is at work, going as far as taking unpaid leave if needed (which I've done). Alas, during Covid-19 Masjids were either closed or not allowing Itikaf in 2020 and 2021, so I missed those two years. This year, 2022 was open so I maintained my commitment to continue my vow. Even though I'd recently switched jobs, starting a new career, with new bosses and new teams, with critical projects in motion and notwithstanding the fact I've not earned much credibility yet, I still wasn't going to let me pass up my Itikaf opportunity again!

Nothing was deemed more important, even if it portrayed me as being a weak leader or not-committed to the company, I put my faith firmly in God's hands and my resolution to remain steadfast to my value system priorities: My spiritual well-being Islam is first. There is no separation of identities. 

I wasn't always like this though, since growing up I'd focused on my profession (my job) putting it ahead of everything else.  Now, I view the world with a much broader lens. My job is absolutely still very important. In fact, as a Muslim, we treat our work very seriously, with great responsibility to account for halal income and maintain our work contracts in the strictest manner possible, strictly accounting for the time sincerely because we will be answerable for our time to God. So work is still a key component but not at the expense of my personal spirituality, mental well-being and family responsibilities. 

With enough up-front planning and expectation management, I was able to complete my Itikaf successfully this year.  

I find the workplaces have really started to embrace diversity and inclusion, which is quite awesome. My current company, is by far the best workplace I've experienced that promotes IDE, truly raising the bar. 

So what do I get up to in Itikaf then? 

When I sit for Itikaf, I try to cut myself out from the world as much as possible. I'm unreachable if there's a work emergency, sorry. I limit my interactions with immediate family. And a total black out of digital devices, social media, etc. digital detox. I also limit my interactions with fellow guests. 

A large part is private and personal of course. Maybe I'll share some of my journal insights in future posts? In this post, what I can share is that I don't spend all my time doing devotionals. I journal, meditate and also take time to explore my artistic side with freehand sketching things that catch my attention: Islamic art, calligraphy, poetry, etc. If you've ever ventured into a typical Masjid (Mosque, Muslim place of worship) you will have likely come across the most beautiful Arabic scripts of calligraphy, tile work, frames, etc.

So there is at least one day in my 10 days of seclusion where I spend a few hours sketching in my journal. This helps me process my thoughts, reflect on the beauty of Islam's art form, thus reflection in God's beauty and love inspired, is a form of remembrance in its own right. 

I'm not great at sketching though, so I'm sharing at risk. Hoping I can make more time for this as a regular hobby outside of just once a year:

On making the mid-career Switch

When I started my career as an engineer, I was keen on experiencing as many roles in the end-to-end software stack as possible. I switched teams, projects and even organisations. I even made the cast of the "Switcher" video that our HR careers team produced to promote growth opportunities through switching jobs! I once switched roles just before being promoted too, starting over as a junior engineer in a different part of the org build a tech stack I had zero prior experience in. Even after switching tracks between management-and-technical to becoming Principal Engineer, thinking I would remain firmly technical - I switched to back management for practical lifestyle reasons. But even within management, I switched between management roles just so that I could experience as many facets of business as possible, so that I could one day maybe run my own company! I also switched from a tech platform product service provider to big corporates & also was lucky enough to experience start-ups from concept to business launch. 

I once switched jobs by exiting permanent to freelancing the month before my bonus was due. My last switch forfeited share options and a retention bonus to boot!

So I was very intentional about becoming a "Jack of All trades, Master of some!" general biztech manager.  I am mostly self-taught & experienced my MBA by learning on-the-job, so switching careers was natural and pretty easy, I'm an adaptable guy! 

Or so I thought ... Until now…until my current Switch-in-progress ...

I've started to view switching as a function of tenure, so my assertion is thus: That it actually gets harder to switch as the years go by. If you've left the technical track for some time, an experienced manager for example, switching back to technical engineering gets much harder. When you see yourself as in the"experienced 21+ years" category, you best be ready for a little discomfort...

So my most recent switch from executive leadership into operational management as an engineering manager - is the hardest switch I've made to date! I suppose it was expected - having spent the last decade executing strategically and delivering through others primarily, occassionally rolling up my sleeves by necessity. Whenever I got in the trenches, it was usually short-lived - to lead from the frontlines, setting-up frameworks, run rehearsals, entrenching new processes & instilling new behaviours, coaching then handing over the reigns to managers and then watching those upcoming leaders grow. That was the most rewarding part of leadership for me, one could call that my superpower (i.e. growing leaders).

As my story goes, in 2020 I made a conscious decision to leave behind an industry I knew like the-back-of-my-hand (video) & start over anew in cloud native platforms, back in the "engine room" of software development so to speak. From enjoying big strategic planning and owning a technology roadmap with 200 people responsibility, working on commercial contracts and negotiations, spending big money and having direct bottom-line impact to P&L – to going back into the engine room, building small software teams, with the opportunity of having massive impact on a global scale with the biggest tech company on the planet, working with the best and brightest minds - sparked the Switcher in me to start a new adventure!

Forceably disrupting, reinventing myself so that I could at least add two more domains before retiring. A lot of folks told me I was bloody crazy, others called me brave (being a little "late" in my career after landing relatively respectable senior posts). I personally, wanted to rekindle the flame of adventure that was on its way out!

Man, what was I thinking!! :-) 

Reinventing myself has been hard, very hard! With 15 months into this journey, I still have some miles+++ to go to becoming comfortable in my new (humble) shoes. Not a good feeling for someone tenured with loads of experience, says the ego!

For those folks thinking about making a similar lateral/downward move to a new domain/company, be prepared for a journey of ups and downs! 

Expect constant battles with your ego! Mind your hubris! Let go of past successes! Come to terms with Imposter Syndrome! Let the resistance pass through. Be like water, my friend. Empty your cup...Leave your ego at the door...

Here's some reflections I use regularly to re-calibrate when I feel the force of resistance is strong (i.e. the desire to pack up and leave because I've seen better):

1. Think back to the core driver of why you've made the switch, why weren't you satisfied & what drove the change?

2. Welcome your new critics - don't be too defensive by bringing up your past accolades (they just don't matter, what matters is what are you bringing to the table right now).

3. Think about your biggest vulnerabilities in the new role. How do you plan to compensate for them?

4. What can you do to gain more control over your local environment? [Think: Circle of control/influence]

5. What are you avoiding?

6. Why are you avoiding? Why...5 Whys...

7. How are you helping your colleagues achieve their goals?

8. How are you NOT helping or even hindering their progress?

9. How might you be contributing to your least enjoyable relationship at work?

10. How could you have been more effective in a recent meeting?

11. Ask "What haven't I considered?"

12. Ask "Why is this thing the way it is?" 

13. Ask "Am I part of the problem here or the solution?"

14. Ask "Could I be wrong here?"

15. Practice silence & patience. Before raising something, Ask: Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said, by me? Does it need to be said, by me, right now?

The learning never really ends - to achieve personal mastery is a journey that has no end.

Having said that, reinvention is not for everyone! Switching careers can be hard. It can be daunting. It can also be quite lonely. Be sure you're up for the challenges ahead. Seek counsel from folks who've walked the path before.

#personaldevelopment #careeradvice