Sometimes we need a reminder

I often remind myself about this:

You will die at any time...but as long as you're alive, you still need to live - so Do!

Love life and live not in ignorance but fully aware your time is limited. 

You will definitely die, it's a reality, a certainty, impossible to avoid or predict. 

So watch where and how you spend your time, be mindful of what you'll be leaving behind. 

This world is temporary. Period. 

Your profession should never become an obsession at the expense of life.

But you must believe in yourself and you will move mountains.

You are responsible for your life, don't blame anyone for your situation. 

You can't change what people think of you, so don't bother wasting energy on that/them.

Live by your own rules not by what others think of you. 

Have no expectations from others apart from yourself. 

Hold yourself to account to your own highest standards and values. 

Believe in yourself and you will move mountains.

You can have Faith but you still need to put in the effort, and trust in God.

Most importantly, trust in your own ability - find the confidence within.

No man has power over another man.

No company owns you.

Only you know your story.

But sometimes we forget our own story.

So you need to go back in time & rekindle the fire that was your story.

Let no one tell you otherwise.

You owe it to yourself to constantly check if you're going through life asleep.

If this is the case, awake from your slumber & make change happen!

Rekindle the sparks that created your story.

Get that fire burning again.

It starts by doing - one small step is all it takes!

Then another, and another...

But remember, your time is indeed limited, so spend it wisely!

On: Never fight a battle you're not prepared to win

A topic that's been on my mind of late...

The thing with "Pick your battles"...

Everyone says, "Pick your battles," and they're right. But usually they only mean "Pick your battles based on whether or not you have a good chance to win." That's fine, as far as it goes. But we think you should be even more pickier. 

Only pick battles that are:

a) winnable

b) important

c) battles for which you're fully prepared to pay the price to win

d) battles you're damn sure you can afford to win

-- Quote from "Buck Up, Suck Up...and come back when you foul up" by Carville & Begala

So think and reflect on that deeply. Remember other anecdotes "If you want to fight, you have to get into the ring, it will get bloody messy but you can't stop until you give it your all". 

Which battles are you fighting in your head?

What's keeping you up awake at night, causing you sleepless nights?

This could be personal or professional, or a professional work scenario that's starting to negatively impact your personal & family life, possibly causing anxiety and borderline depression.

Before diving straight into battle mode, it might be prudent to find a quiet space to brainstorm.

Mind map each scenario and use the four criteria above to map pros/cons, upsides/downsides, apply some rationality to the process. 

It will be hard to fight the emotions, but you got to try.

Be critical.

Be meticulous.

Be objective.

Play devil's advocate. Is it just your ego being bruised?

It's not about being safe and taking the easy way out, nor is it about being risk averse. It's about being sensible, a matter of calculated, smart survival tactics, at the expense of giving into emotions.

Sometimes one has to lose a couple of battles to win the war.

It's about the long game - envision a future where your current troubles disappear and replaced with victory & triumph. Keep doing this as often as you can to get through the dip.

But...sometimes, if not most of the time, emotion & gut instinct are indeed right! After thousands of years, we humans still have our lizard brain, the instinctive reflex of "fight or flight" has served  and continues to serve & save us.

My gut instincts have saved me more times than I can remember, so it might be perfectly okay to react too.

Going with your gut, embracing the emotion (anger, disappointment, betrayal, rejection, doubt, etc.) can be very powerful motivators for change...

These, coupled with your closely-bound value system, can be the only key indicators for you to decide to get into battle...when you do get into it, you need to be prepared for various scenarios...especially when the impact of going into battle has far reaching consequences other than yourself: you family, friends, loved ones, colleagues, your own reputation, etc. 

Another tool is to seek out close confidants, mentors and guides - the counsel "Shura" of other trusted parties can generally help you seeing things that you might be currently blind to (since all you can think about are the battles raging in your head).

After all of that, once you've processed the noise in your head, sought counsel, go back and ask yourself: What am I willing to walk away from??

Then....

Take a deep breath...build up courage....and take that first step (battle or not) and never look back...

another #thismightnotwork post

Year 2019 in Review, Welcome 2020!

I'm now entering my fifth year of time logging and keeping track of all my "life & work"-streams in an effort to make sense of my time sinks, cross-checking my aspirations & goals with reality, in the hope of tuning, re-calibrating areas to be more in harmony with my purpose / value system, sometimes triggering some decisions that could take my life-and-work in a different direction altogether. So I've become a bit of geek with the #quantifiedself so much so that I log almost everything all the time. This habit developed naturally as I spent five years consulting, needing to keep track of all my hours and tasks for billable hours. So I took this all the way into treating my entire life as one big project with multiple tasks that needed accounting!

In 2015, I spent a lot of time soul-searching to make sense of not only what I want out of my life but my work/career aspirations as well, since a major part of my life involves my occupation in the software industry. So I came up with a model called RAGE (Reality, Aspirations, Goals, Expectations). The way the model works is to split yourself into "Personas" sliced into Personal and Professional streams. Using some tools from Agile, such as user stories, you describe for each of your personas, your aspirations, reflecting on your current reality, then setting goals and expectations. Your personas are prioritised by value, which is basically an instinctive, gut-feel assessment of the value/importance of the stream, in comparison to the others. I'd created template and a matrix tool that allowed for easy prioritisation, and a template to help others on this journey as well. My hypothesis still remains valid that tracking time is one way of understanding where my time is being spent, proposing "I will naturally spend most of time dedicated to the persona streams that are of importance to me" - but the reality can sometimes be quite surprising!

In this post, I continue with my annual ritual of starting the new year by analysing what went down the previous year (2019), and how/what I would need to re-calibrate to get me on track with my life's journey-mapping into 2020:

• Recap my personal value system - persona matrix & priorities
• Snapshot of tracking my RAGE progress by milestone reviews heatmap
• Performance appraisal - Did I achieve my intended outcomes / goals set in Jan 2019?
• Quantifying every hour of 2019 - where did I spend my time, what did I do?
• Does it look like I have my life-work balance under control?
• Am I working too much, sacrificing my personal and family streams?
• Am I enjoying my current job?
• What are the main things impacting my future personal & professional aspirations?

On choices, decisions, initiative, career planning: lessons, looking back

Image Source

At a recent town hall with my technology division (100+ people: frontend & backend engineers, platforms & infrastructure systems engineers, system architects, agile specialists, AI/ML engineers, Agile PMO & technical ops monitors), I opened up by giving my perspective on expected behaviours & responsibilities of the individual, especially when it comes to career development & growth aspirations.

The message was about taking a personal ownership for one's own growth, rather than leaving it up to the company or one's manager (a message that surfaced a few times in recent OfficeVibe feedback) - that the responsibility largely lies with the individual. Yes, managers/leaders are there to support you & guide you along the way, but only you know what defines you as a person, so don't leave it up to others to determine a path for you...

Reflecting on my own journey, it all comes down to understanding your current reality, weighing the choices on the table, defining your aspirations, taking initiative,  processing & reflecting through assessing the outcome of the initiatives, finding great people to learn from, tracking your trajectory on the path to growth. The path is not always clear, sometimes adjustments need to be made, sometimes a little backtracking is needed to enable the next leap forward - still, it all comes down to one's own personal ownership & level of commitment to controlling one's own future.

I thought I'd share my own timeline as guidance for people who might be stuck. Interestingly enough, although I only recently started formally implementing my own management framework around life/work planning by way of my RAGE model, that I was actually instinctively using this decision-making model all the time.

My timeline table shows the major periods in my career, commenting on reality of the situation at the time, choices I faced, decision made & eventual outcome. I think anyone who's considering what to do next with their career plan should do a similar exercise for their own sense-making.

My Perspectives

1. Gain a keen appreciation for your current situational reality and take responsibility for it. Yes, reality sucks sometimes, but you got to play the hand you're dealt, don't let that get you down.  It is possible to change your reality. I made hard choices based on my reality of being caught in a low-income family, living through Apartheid.
2. Discover your key motivations and use them as your guiding compass, some call it your "value system". I believed in myself and my ability to make things happen. If I felt my knowledge was lacking, I would learn & close the gaps myself. Don't assume you know everything, there are tons of smart people out there. I got a huge awakening when I went overseas, so much so that I had to learn software engineering & computer science all over again.
3. Don't go seeking hand-outs or help, but if people or companies do extend their generosity, don't naively turn them down. There will be good people helping you along the way. After trying many avenues of financial aid/scholarships without success, I thought help would never come my way, but it eventually did.
4. Don't bog yourself down with "If Only", or "What If" - this creates negativity & unnecessary anxieties. Move on, look forward. Sure, reflect on the past, learn from it, but never let it hold you back. You're in control of shaping your own reality. I chose a path that was the most practical, I switched jobs just as I was going to be promoted, I left big projects just as they were about to land, I left a start-up thinking I had a job lined up (but it didn't happen), I left what others would say is madness (left the stability of UK to return to volatile SA). Leaving UK was very difficult for me from a professional experience sacrifice, but I never allowed doubt and negativity to bog me down.
5. If you want a good measure of your skills or experience an alternate reality, leave your country & work overseas. Even though the world has gone smaller through globalisation, that even in South Africa we do work with international teams, I still think getting overseas exposure is one of the best things one can do. Living and working in different countries exposes you to a different world of experiences. If you're under the age of 35, then you should try it. It doesn't have to mean relocating or emigrating, it could be a temporary secondment for a year or two. I was fortunate to experience working with many cultures across the globe on some really big projects. I learnt so much in a short space of time, it took my engineering skills to another level. As for Planning, Management & Execution principles, in my opinion, the UK ethic is world-class.
6. Become comfortable with uncertainty & embrace the unknown, even it means leaving your home town/country for another one. You get this only through experience, and having been through at least one transition into the unknown. I've seen a few - it's not so bad, you must embrace your fear of uncertainty.
7. Develop a learning & growth mindset - in any new role, work hard to learn as much as you can, by reading, studying, latching on to people as mentors, read other people's code through open source projects, etc. I became expert in a few areas: MPEG/DVB protocol spec & implementation, C & C++ coding, Voice synthesis & Text-to-Speech, Project, Agile Program Management & Execution, Professional services consulting and more recently Leadership skills. This doesn't come easy: I read a ton, implement the tools, learn from experienced, the wise, still remaining open to new experiences, no matter how edgy they might make me feel.
8. Be ready to start-over again more than once - switch roles, domains or industries, sometimes what might seem to be a step or two backwards, actually turns out to be better than hoped. I started over at least 5 times in my career of 20 years. If you're in software, sure you can specialise (and there's nothing wrong with that) but you must then become expert at what you do. To grow in software, my view is to learn as many tools as possible, switch every two years. One of the best ways to do this is side projects, open source communities. Don't wait for your company to reserve hackathon sprints, or 20% time - take ownership. I taught myself text-to-speech synthesis on my own, developed POCs in my spare time and proved to company the potential innovation. If I had not taken initiative, I probably would not have landed the ultimate technical role I dreamt of.
9. Don't pass the responsibility for your career on to someone else (your manager or company), rather you should have a view of your own map, your end goal. Your company or leaders can help with options available, guide on the gaps you need to fill - and it's even better when the company has a decent career ladder in place. Never pass the buck on and make excuses that your company / manager does not care, that you don't have enough syncs 1:1s or feedback sessions with your manager. You need to take ownership, period. In the companies I worked for, we at least had a decent career-ladder in place, showing all the upwards, sideways opportunities available. I made it clear to my leaders at the time, that my ultimate goal was to become a "Jack of all trades, but Master of SOME" T/PI-Shaped skills. They knew that when I'd enter a new role, I would learn, produce outcomes and then move on, thankfully, I had very good leaders that did not stand in my way. If you feel obstructed by your leader / team / company, first dig deep within yourself to reflect on whether your own behaviours need improving, and if you're still convinced it's not you, then leave, change your environment, change your circumstances.
10. Don't get complacent or too confident your role is secure, retrenchments & redundancies are a reality, business-is-business. I got my first taste of layoffs when I was still a junior software engineer, naively thinking I was in a good place by virtue of being part of a cool new product team, and owning some key components. Since that first-and-only layoff (in 20 years), I developed my "spider senses" - and decided that it would always be me that decides whether I stay or leave, not a market event or the company.
11. Do not grow an entitled mindset, or have unrealistic expectations from your employer. Say you studied hard and earned additional paper qualifications: MSc, MBA, PMP, etc. Don't expect the company to automatically increase your salary or grant you a promotion. Say your own personal life changes, you get married or have children, so you have more responsibility at home. Why should you expect your company to give you an increase, if the work you're doing hasn't materially changed, or your output is still the same, and you're still working at the level the role expects?? At the end of the day, it's up to you to manage your personal circumstances, it's not the company responsibility now to just automatically reward you or make your life easier financially - NO - you have to work at it. If you gained new qualifications, you need to show an interest in contributing your newly acquired knowledge, showing value. If you're seeking a promotion, you must show you've actively contributed covering much of the roles/output of the next role you're seeking. Companies don't owe you anything - so don't come up with unreasonable expectations or feel entitled. It's all about your output, meritocracy  is the only thing that matters.
12. Becoming your own boss, running your own consultancy is hard work, be prepared to fail in this area. Although branching out on your own can be enormously liberating & exciting, unless you have a large network to tap into, moving from one consulting engagement to another, building up clientele & a pipeline of work, growing your team - whilst a lot of people have made this a successful venture - it is actually quite hard to do. I was fortunate to secure the company I left as my major client, although, the client only wanted to work with me, so in effect, I never really left! Without a strong network, the going was tough trying to break into other clients, even after doing some pro bono consulting work. You must invest a lot of time & energy, unpaid hours to build your own consultancy, something I didn't do, which showed I wasn't really fully invested in this venture. So I shut my company down, and was pulled back in by the strong gravitational forces of the big company. I learnt a great deal, became a better salesman, and became confident in interacting with C-Level executives. Consulting however, is a sure way to make extra money than being a permanent employee, but it comes with its own set of risks.
13. Show gratitude. Whilst you might think that you're in control and the result of your successes are due to your own hard work, sweat and tears, never become arrogant and ignore that other forces helped you get this far. Take time to seriously reflect on this, and you will soon identify people or events that helped, and when these surface - be thankful & show your gratitude, develop humility. Although I was brought up in low-income household, I never once felt not having a complete home, or solid upbringing on life skills - if anything - this actually shaped my personal motivational value system. I never regretted or blamed my parents, I had a good childhood, was taught responsibility & key life skills. I've acknowledged people, friends and family that shaped my reality, the leaders in the various companies I worked with, were supportive, friendly and encouraging - I learnt so much from them, and still continue to learn from them today. Sometimes, when you're in the thick of the day-to-day job, you might not like what your manager says or does (over controlling, micromanaging, lecturing), and it's only when you leave, you realise the wisdom and lessons being taught. It's not always about you, and if you're leading teams, show appreciation for your teams as well. Your success is a result of your team's output. As you develop into senior roles, your visible output might become less-and-less, but you're still working hard through people, in the background. Never think you're the sole reason behind success - there's so much more that goes on, that we're often blindsided - don't get blindsided, actively seek out your blind spots.
14. Be patient. Patience is linked to gratitude. Be patient with your role, allow enough time to learn the essence of the domain. Once you're comfortable & confident in your appreciation of the essence or core principles and you've remained long enough in the role to complete 1-2 major pieces of work / projects, then allow yourself the opportunity to move on. But don't rush things through, learning needs time to soak. Personally I'm always doubtful when I come across people's CVs hopping from one permanent role to the next in less than 18 months (this is because the major initiatives usually run for at least 18 months). From my experience, this (9-15 months) is just not enough time to do justice or have made a serious contribution in terms of outcomes (unless the gig was to rescue, recover or revive a project as a major intervention, or consulting gig). For me, it's been roughly a minimum of 18 months provided I felt confident in my results. I just about completed my engineer-in-training role after university when I took a big chance, although successful, in retrospect, I had big gaps to close anyway. The more higher one climbs the ladder, the more patient one needs to be, which means 18 months could grow to 24-36 months minimum. Currently I'm resisting the urge to switch, knowing that I still have another year to go before I can claim to have truly owned the role, so patience becomes a necessity.
15. It's not always about the money or job title - neither does "years in role" contribute to "seniority". Although I might risk passing a value judgement on other people here, what I found is that money should not be a driving motivation, if you've set your sights on a learning and growth mindset. Sure, you can hop from one job/company to the next every 12 months or so, on each move your salary jumps - but if you're effectively not learning new skills or growing, is it worth it? Job titles are also relative, what's in a name after all? What matters is what you can do, and the value you bring to the table. What I found also trips people up is this complex of "seniority" based on "I've worked so many years in this role, hence I deserve a promotion as a senior xyz". In my journey, I sacrificed salary growth for knowledge, experience and a wide/deep toolbox of skills/capabilities. Later when things became challenging financially, other opportunities opened up that boosted my income, which wouldn't have been possible if I'd not honed by capabilities & demonstrated value as a result of experience. I once had a manager who, in his previous company was a VP of Engineering only to become a development manager in his next role - two steps back. I'd asked him why he made the move, this was when I learnt that work/life isn't just about the title. He restarted two levels down and in a short space of time, was back to being a Director of Engineering. I had a team leader once who was performing in the role of manager, but was so humble and patient that having the title did not bother him much. I have seen engineers who effectively remain doing similar activities for years, expecting a promotion by virtue of being doing the same job, even though the competencies haven't grown (e.g. influencing group/country/global teams, taking ownership, showing initiative) - so if you want a promotion, you need to earn it! I've also seen people who are content being a software engineer (with no aspirations of seniority/leadership), but who are expert at what they do, adding so much value, that the company provides enough incentives to keep the person happy (at times a brilliant software engineer could earn a higher salary, have indirect influence greater than his/her manager). At the end it does come down to personal motivations, and when the time does come around to being a financial/happiness constraint, then don't expect the company to help you - it's time for you to change!

My Timeline (Click here to see full table)

2018 Year In Review & 2019 Thoughts

It's that time of the year again where I look into the data for timekeeping over the past year to make sense where I spent my time, and cross-check with reality, in terms of my aspirations and goals that are split between different areas of my life by Personal & Professional areas. The idea is to gain insights from this data and re-calibrate areas of focus for the upcoming year.

Unfortunately, I haven't made much in the way of drastic progress in 2018 compared to 2017, the profile is largely the same - that my professional (work) life has consumed more time (a constant theme), my personal life in terms of family commitments are reasonably on track, and the biggest area of neglect is on my own personal, individual streams (hobbies, ideas, health and fitness). However, since I started the RAGE model experiment, I have made some good wins on other areas, so the model works, but there's still more to be done in this area - specifically around outcome-based goals.

Recap my RAGE Model (Reality, Aspirations, Goals, Expectations) Tracking

I wanted to map out the different areas of my life that defines me, split by two major areas: Personal & Professional. 

For each area, I defined some personas or streams. For example - in the Personal area, I'm a Husband, Father, Family-Man, Individual, etc. For the Professional area, I'm a professional (my main job), a colleague, etc.

For each Persona, I map out my current Reality, ideal Aspirations, and then from those two, set some Goals & align some Expectations to achieve.

Another aspect to this experiment was tracking my overall happiness and well-being. If I spent time in the areas of priority, the theory is it should count towards me being happier.

I prioritise the Personas using a simple matrix that defines how I value and rank them. I then use detailed time tracking to track the time spent doing activities for each area. The theory is that I should be focusing time and energy on the areas that reflect the ranking and priorities I set. This is the core data for analysis. For more details on how I actually do this, I am still using the manual ways as described in the original posting. Since the original version of the Personas, I'm now on version 6 which currently looks like this:

Current Persona Matrix Rankings

What this ranking does is basically show my decision-making rules: Life (Husband, Father, Family) is more important than Work (Job), which is more important than my Individual Personal streams (Hobbies, Pet Projects, Me Time, etc.). A simple-enough value system that I use to navigate through challenges.

It all looks good on the paper model, but in reality, the data highlights some food for thought that I really need to take action in 2019.

What are the big challenges for me?

What triggered my creating the RAGE model and start the detailed time tracking activities was essentially about accounting for my time, addressing the hard realities:

• Being a professional, i.e. having a stable income stream is currently a hard reality constraint. I need an income to support my family - so this is something I should not compromise on - but I still need to control it - I should not be overworking, at the expense of my personal life interests. So the data on work hours is important. When I read about pursuing dreams, passions, etc. about breaking out, taking risks, quitting your job etc. the reality around finances, lifestyle and family stability kicks-in - it's not an easy thing to do...this is a hard reality. I have to think of ways to ensure I do my best work, provide the best service to my employer, but not let work over consume me at the expense of my other streams (which as the data shows is not actually happening). Unless I can find a way to create a passive income stream outside of my main job, this constraint is going to be around for a while. The outcome for this year must be to bring my work-hours to a decent level freeing up time to focus on my personal interests.
• It's quite difficult to switch off from the office these days - even whilst at home, social media chats through Slack & WhatsApp are disruptions, that can't be tracked in hours - so whilst in "family mode", I must respond to chats - this time is unaccounted for. If I were to include all these moments as "work", then work-time increases...which is why this topic of "work-life integration" is becoming more mainstream.
• The functions of resting and sleeping for a human being is something that must be respected, and can't be compromised. I maintain an average of 8 hours of sleep per night, so this is a hard constraint. Eight hours has been validated as the ideal, I can go on for a few days with less sleep, but it's not sustainable. This means that the rest of my time must be allocated around this, with Work/Professional consuming a large chunk of this.
• Giving focus to my own personal interests as an individual, outside of being a Husband / Father / Family-Man, etc. seems like I'm sacrificing my own interests, i.e. putting myself last - and this is where the spiritual dimension of being a Muslim comes in to help - it's sometimes a struggle to deal with these frustrations.

2018 Data Insights - Tracking the Time / Hours spent

There was roughly 8,766 hours in 2018 (365.25 24-hour days), which I tracked and logged a total of 8,820 hours, which is not bad, the errors could be attributed to human error in logging (54 extra hours).

Where did the time go?

2018 Persona Hours, focus on Working Hours & Overall Happiness at work

There were 250 work days in 2018, excluding 12 public holidays. I took 34 days off as leave days, which left 216 work-days. Assuming an 8 hour workday, the capacity for work hours would be 1728 hours.

My actual work hours logged were 2155.4 hours, an excess of 427.4 hours as "overtime" which I don't really get paid for. This equates to an extra 53.4 days worked, an additional 2.5 months of extra work - which took away time from other areas, like for instance, time I could have used for my personal projects.

The table below summarises the major streams - highlighting in red, the months where work-hours exceeded the normal bounds. Overall split between life and work remains consistent with the previous two years, with my own personal individual streams taking much of the knock:

So it's clear that work-hours is an area to be controlled to free up time for allocating to personal, individual streams.

General Happiness & Well-Being at Work

I continue to track my overall happiness levels at work on a daily basis. I have also started tracking the bad days in terms of sleepless nights. In 2018 I had my fair share of stress at work that resulted in some nights where I hardly slept a wink, tossing and turning, worrying about issues at the office as well as my future in the company. This is a new stress that introduced itself last year, that I need to better manage. I tracked 12 sleepless nights, this is about 4% of the time. However, in general, the picture still looks good - I'm enjoying the work on the whole:

The last quarter of 2018 did see an increase in bad days - we had some challenges with the platform in terms of stability, new boss, changes in teams, and overall tensions and conflicts to manage & people resigning. This what triggered my blog post on workplace 3.0 last year. Additionally, my health took a bad turn as well in November. The number of "indifferent / neutral" days seems to be increasing - an area to keep track of. But in the grand scheme of things, there is more upside than downside at work, so this is still looking good! However, I do need to plan in personal time (leave days) more in the year to maintain a healthy balance.

Life in general is good, but my Personal streams are taking a knock

In general, overall - the time keeping does not contradict the priorities and rankings for my personas. I am also in a good space - health, wealth and mental space is in equilibrium (maybe this is because I've just done three weeks of of chilling out, relaxed summer vacation - back to office come Monday...). As I introduced the post earlier, on paper, I should be happy that my hours are reflecting the priorities I set & committed to...however, I can't help but feel a little down that overall my individual self interests are taking a knock...

In terms of the streams I see as my personal individual persona (i.e. the things I'm interested as person, outside of me being a Husband / Father / etc.), here's a view of the percentage focus per month (still highlighting the months where work exceeded the norm):

The positives highlighted in green:

• Reading books - did well enough to track against my goal of 24 books, ended up completing 21 books last year. Not bad.
• Spirituality - tracking very nicely, spent 10 days in seclusion in June, time well spent.
• Me Time - this is time I spend by myself, thinking, exploring or even binge-watching shows ;-)

The areas of concern are:

• Health & Fitness - dismal year. I had some health issues creep up on me last year. Not good.
• Cycling - very little done. According to my Strava logs: 29 days, 47 hours, 585km.
• Blogging - regressed big time - need to do at least one post a month
• Entrepreneur - my ideas still collecting dust. Pathetic, makes me really wonder about this!

Major Outcomes for 2019: Intent

Broadly speaking, here's some outcomes I'd like to focus on this year, the detail in terms of specific targets is still tracked manually in the spreadsheet template:

• Professional
• Get work-hours down to a manageable level, target no more than 170 hours per month
• Continue to build a strong leadership team thus removing me as a bottleneck, focus on strategic outcomes, less operational
• Spread in more leave time, reduce sleepless nights to zero
• Personal - Individual - Entrepreneur 
• Spec out my Rage/Personametry product idea and get an MVP done, even if it's manual
• Attend at least 6 Start-Up meet-ups this year
• Personal - Individual - Health
• Improve current fitness state - there should be no 0% activities in a month
• Personal - Life & Family
• Introduce consistency & routine into happiness building activities - at least once a month we should develop a routine around the things we enjoy doing as a family

Am I hunting antelope or field mice?

I came across this question from Tim Ferriss' Tools of Titans during my summer reading, it's quite apt  for my first post of 2019, as I have a feeling it will probably be the question I will pivot around again and again during 2019. It features as question #13 of Tim's 17 questions that changed his life. I've lifted the description here on this blog so I can keep coming back to it.

Am I hunting antelope or field mice?

Quoted from Tools of Titans, 17 Questions that changed my life:

Newt Gingrich is one of the most successful political leaders of our time...Now that he's in the private sector, Newt uses a brilliant illustration to explain the need to focus on the big things and let the little stuff slide: the analogy of the field mice and the antelope.

A lion is fully capable of capturing, killing, and eating a field mouse. But it turns out that the energy required to do so exceeds the caloric content of the mouse itself. So a lion that spent its day hunting and eating field mice would slowly starve to death. A lion can't live on field mice. A lion needs antelope. Antelope are big animals. They take more speed and strength to capture and kill, and once killed, they provide a feast for the lion and her pride. A lion can live a long and happy life on a diet of antelope. 

The distinction is important. Are you spending all your time and exhausting all your energy catching field mice? In the short term it might give out a nice, rewarding feeling. But in the long run you're going to die. So ask yourself at the end of the day, "Did I spend today chasing mice or hunting antelope?"

Initial Thoughts?

Courtesy

Five years ago, I used this illustration to pitch my situation at work to my then bosses - I felt like a lion trapped and being tamed by a corporate structure that was stifling the value I could bring to the organisation especially in terms of working across group-silos. This pitch resulted in me being freed up from the HR constraints and kick-started my journey into consulting which lasted about 4.5 years...

Then having spent enough time consulting, it felt more and more that I ended up hunting field mice again (consultants were excluded from big meaty execution decisions and did not have a seat at the table), so I went back into permanent with the same company...I am getting my share of antelopes now with a seat at the table, but more often I find myself  being dragged into field mice problems. My solution to this problem is through effective delegation and empowering my people, the challenge is that my peers and bosses have trouble appreciating this tactic...what I view as field mice problems is not always seen in the same light by the people that further up in the food chain - so maybe I'm not a lion after-all ;-) or maybe I need to find another pride of lions with the same mindset as I...??

It might well be that my current job is not the antelope I'm searching for...that my real antelope is still out there evading me, and could it be  that my fear is the only thing that is holding me back??

So that's thoughts on professional life...in terms of family life, this story could also be applied as well. Being a husband and a father to three children, whilst very rewarding on levels that can't really be measured or quantified well, is probably the most challenging experience one can have...in my case it's about letting go of being a control-freak, not sweating the small stuff (field mice) and focus on the bigger important stuff...whilst I'm an expert project manager in the professional world, the project of a family and raising children is THE most intense project to manage in life...

2019 must be the year I either bag an antelope or at least make strides in identifying bigger game...My RAGE model and my focus on the 80/20 principle in all aspects of my work and life are tools that are helping me on this journey - and if I were to assess my progress since starting with my RAGE model tracking, then things don't look bad at all.

My gut tells me that 2019 is going to be an interesting year for me professionally...

[Update: August 2023 - I did indeed bringing down my antelope in 2019, reaching heights in my professional career to C-level, as well as step-changing my family-life away from field-mice problems...but the interesting thing now in mid 2023, feel I need bigger antelopes again, since I'm in Africa, I need to hunt a buffalo]

2018 Life/Work Balance Review Jan-Aug

Three quarters of 2018 is now behind us, so I decided to look back and review where and how my time has been spent so far, looking back from what I last set out to do in January this year, where I reviewed my 2017 time tracking in this post. I wasn't doing a good job this year in reviewing my personal life/work goals, the months flew by - time to re-calibrate.

Changes to my Personal RAGE model

In March 2018, I revisited my personas, see below. The main change to the model was leaving my own consulting company AS3 behind, as I took on a job as a permanent employee. I also decided to focus my values more on family, putting my own individual personal aspirations somewhat at a lower priority. The matrix looked like this:

Reviewing Personal Goals from January

Earlier this year, I noted down the following. Without looking at the data insights, the comments reflected in italics:

1. Find a way to reduce work hours to a point that it is actually sustainable, and not be the only thing that consumes me (even if I'm having a good time at work). Goal is to maintain a consistent level of 168 hours maximum per month on work. Need to do this by building an awesome management team, foster leadership & responsibility downstream. Implement behaviours from "Turn this Ship Around". Goal not met, my work hours are still quite high.
2. Create space for Personal endeavours, focusing on leisure activities as well as health & fitness. 
1. My 3D printing experiments seized in 2017. Start again. Not started
2. Cycling virtually non-existent in 2017. Start again. Only starting now, Sept!
3. I have a boxed Lego Robotics Mindstorm set waiting for me (gifted this toy for my birthday) Still boxed!
4. Five programming books to read and new languages to code - waiting for a year, unopened. Where are these books anyway, out-of-sight, out-of-mind??
5. Read 24 books this year. In 2017 I completed just 9 books of the 38 I'd planned to read! Going okay, 65% there
6. Create the software for my RAGE tracking tool. I wish!
3. Continue to nurture the family time to be as memorable & enjoyable as possible. Looking good!

What's the data showing?

Sometimes the big picture is not always a good thing. When summarising the last 8 months, it seems my Life/Work balance seems pretty normal - good percentage of split between Life/Work, where:

Life >> Work, so all must be good right??

But something feels off...

Why does it feel like I'm spending way too much time doing work? Roughly speaking, employees average monthly hours in South Africa should be around 168 hours per month. So what do my work hours look like?

So it seems my work hours are exceeding normal expected hours - although, now that I'm at executive level, it is expected to put in the extra hours, so I'm still trying to come to terms with this and really need to figure out how to still deliver on the expectations and keep the hours to my own personal target of maximum 168 hours - so with 4 months remaining, I really got to solve this puzzle somehow. When I look back at these numbers, sometimes I can't help but feel I would've been better off financially if I was still consulting and billing-by-the-hour :-)

So what if I'm working way too many hours - as long as my work keeps me happy right?? That I should be having fun, and enjoying it right?? Good thing I'm still keeping track of my daily feelings journal for work - let's see if my overall happiness sentiment is still in check??

Am I enjoying the Work? ...Yes, it seems so!

Looking at my sentiment tracking data, it does seem pretty green, not much red - so that should be a good thing. Although a cause for concern is that recently, the enjoyment in terms of positive feelings is being overtaken by more of an indifferent/neutral sentiment, that is, I can neither say I'm having a really terrible time, nor can I say I'm having an absolutely awesome time either. This could be due to a few factors: organisational transformation, people challenges and pressures of strategy changes &  new delivery challenges hitting all areas of the company - my personal challenge is never to fall into complacency or mediocrity. I'm also challenged with personal leave days, so back when I was consulting, I took some personal time pretty regularly - but from April this year, these personal leave days have drastically reduced compared to previous years. I'm becoming increasingly mindful of this, to the point of potentially taking some unpaid leave... 

Overall Breakdown of Time per Area of Life

It's not all bad - given that I did prioritise my Family-First value ahead of my own Individual needs, the areas are mostly green. However, I do need to move invest more on the personal Health & Fitness areas, and have to think really hard about investing more time and energy into the idea of breaking out as an Entrepreneur. I've got ideas building up on my backlog, with absolutely zero time invested in taking them anywhere...On my individual need for improving my spirituality, 2018 has been a very good year...On the family-side, it is still quite the challenge to dedicate real one on one time with my individual family members, I've got more work to do with 1:1 time with my wife, outside of the family time we spend together with the kids...and I got to get back to more writing time for my blog, although some close friends say I should spend less time blogging about my time tracking and instead use it for 1:1 time with my wife!

2017 Life/Work Balance Review

2017 was a year that went by lightning fast. It seems like not so long ago I was reflecting on 2016 when I did the write up of 80/20 rule on my life/work balance timing review around this time last year. Now a year later, I'm reflecting on how my time was spent in 2017. Interestingly enough the overall profile of my life/work balance hasn't changed drastically if you look at the summaries, but once I dive a bit more into the detail it becomes evident that my time did take a knock in some areas.

I've been tracking my time on how I spend my life for three years and counting. I've still not developed an automated system yet for tracking, need to write an app that simplifies all this manual work, however I need to find the time to do this :-) Part of my personal projects which had taken a knock last year. Once I've automated this through an app, it should make Life/Work goals tracking much simpler, lets see what 2018 brings!

My Personal Value System - Personas

At the turn of 2017, I'd optimised my value system to the following elements, split between Personal & Professional lives:

This was supposed to reflect the priorities in my overall life, with the view that when it comes to time management, how I consume time should be relative to these priorities. In hindsight, this is more difficult to achieve in reality.

What happened in 2017?

Overall, the data for 2017 is shown below:

Putting this in pictures, it looks like this:

Comparing this to 2016, it looks pretty much similar at the high level:

Quick Analysis

2017 compared to 2016, the data shows roughly a balanced life/work split, although in reality I don't feel like it was balanced at all. In May 2017 I started a new job, which had me focused on work more than anything else. If I ignore the hard reality constraints, which is something I define as unavoidable, must-happen activities like Rest/Sleep, Driving-Car and Household maintenance, the picture looks a little different:

In 2017, I worked a total of 2383 hours.

The income-generating portion was spent working as a consultant, totals 2339 hours.

Accounting for 168 hours as the legal working hours per month, this works out to 13.33 months.

Assuming a full calendar month for leave & public holidays (11 working months), I've worked an extra 2.33 months in 2017!

Whilst time spent with Family exceeded Work time, my personal time for my own individual interests took a knock. I've hardly spent time on hobbies, pet projects as well as general health/fitness/well-being.

2017 Lessons Learnt

I worked more in 2017 than 2016, in 2018 I need to reduce work-time, to focus more on personal time. If Personal time invested as an Individual is prioritised higher than Work then I need to figure out a way of allocating more time in this area. I can't compromise on the Family aspect so the time has to come from somewhere else.  Even if I leave consulting and enter full-time employment, I need to create space to value my personal endeavours. Pet projects and new ideas have had a dismal focus in 2017, making me wonder if it's worth any focus at all - the reality is quite different from aspirations or expectations. General Health & Well-being took big hits as well. Becoming an entrepreneur is hard, running a consulting company is also hard - are these just dreams, or am I serious about these? It maybe enough just to have three major focus areas: Family, Life & Work, unless Work converts to Entrepreneur / Running my own business - need to ask myself some serious questions here. Career-wise, my trajectory is looking promising but I don't know if I should resign to the notion of just spending the rest of my years working in a corporate and just settle...

Tracking 1:1 time with each child is also very challenging, with three kids where the age gaps are not that huge. The numbers do reflect quite poorly, what I've found though is that the interactions are captured as Family time - so it might not make sense anymore to focus on sole 1:1 time with each child. I still think this quite important, and need to figure out a way of creating these 1:1 times more frequently. I may have to kick-off the weekly family retrospectives to get this going again.

How did I enjoy Work in 2017?

So if I feel I'm working more than anything else, and the data shows a major part of my life is spent in the office, am I having a good time? Am I enjoying the work? Am I spending my valuable life-hours just to get by as a matter-of-fact, or am I actually enjoying the gig, and getting some fulfilment out of it? I've been tracking my level of enjoyment at work for the last few years - here's what the data shows.

I track feelings as: 

Enjoyed - Good! When I had a good productive day, relationships good, achieved something, good flow-state.

Bad When I feel I should really be doing something else, had a bad encounter, things pear-shaped.

Indifferent / Neutral Neither good nor bad, just another day-at-the-office, uneventful.

Personal Time Time off to focus on personal topics: Leave, Family-Time or Personal Time Out

The theory is that if the number of Bad days increases to a level of causing alarm, then this signals an event for me to start reconsidering my options - like just leave the work and find something better. Looking at the data, there is still far greater upside than downside - 2017 has been a year of increased enjoyment at work, so there is really no reason for me to look elsewhere...unless the level of uncertainty in employment is increasing - which as I write this, might just be the case. I've learnt through the years never to be complacent, no matter how "secure" you might feel...so as I start 2018, I must still keep my options open.

2018 Key Goals/Objectives

In 2018 I need to get back to re-evaluating my state every three months. The themes to focus on for now:

1. Find a way to reduce work hours to a point that it is actually sustainable, and not be the only thing that consumes me (even if I'm having a good time at work). Goal is to maintain a consistent level of 168 hours maximum per month on work. Need to do this by building an awesome management team, foster leadership & responsibility downstream. Implement behaviours from "Turn this Ship Around".
2. Create space for Personal endeavours, focusing on leisure activities as well as health & fitness. 
1. My 3D printing experiments seized in 2017. Start again.
2. Cycling virtually non-existent in 2017. Start again.
3. I have a boxed Lego Robotics Mindstorm set waiting for me (gifted this toy for my birthday)
4. Five programming books to read and new languages to code - waiting for a year, unopened. 
5. Read 24 books this year. In 2017 I completed just 9 books of the 38 I'd planned to read!
6. Create the software for my RAGE tracking tool.
3. Continue to nurture the family time to be as memorable & enjoyable as possible.

The Golden Circle

In this post I share a snippet of information referenced from the book Start with Why by Simon Sinek. The ideas and concepts provided in the book talk mostly about how some companies are more successful than others (using Apple as a major theme). It advocates that most companies often don't take time to appreciate the WHY they in business in the first place, and more often focus on WHAT they do. By focusing on the WHAT they tend to lose a captive customer audience, failing to address to the core beliefs of customers, which is one of the main reasons customers choose to go a brand, or become an ardent follower of the company.

I found this pretty interesting, with a wider relevance outside of just corporate strategic management. The golden circle can be applied to both personal and professional topics, and links nicely to my RAGE model. It can also be applied to team structures as well. In fact, in the organisational sense, the golden circle flows from top-to-bottom: starting with the company vision and flowing down to each person in the company.

What follows is the core explanation from the book, chapter 3, The Golden Circle. Simon Sinek's TED talk is also one of the highest ranking talks on TED, video is embedded at the end of this post. Although Sinek makes reference to many stories and cases that appear as old news in today's time, they are still nevertheless relevant, at the very least a useful reminder...

The Golden Circle

According to Sinek, the golden circle can be used as a guide to vastly improving leadership, corporate culture, hiring, product development, sales and marketing. It even explains loyalty and how to create enough momentum to turn an idea into a social movement. And it all starts from the inside out. It all starts with Why.

Starting from the outside in, Sinek describes the terns:

WHAT: Every single company and organisation on the planet knows WHAT they do. This is true no matter or big or small, not matter what the industry. Everyone is able to describe the products or services a company sells or the job function they have within that system. WHATs are easy to identify.

HOW: Some companies and people know HOW they do WHAT they do. Whether you call them a "differentiating value proposition", "proprietary process" or "unique selling proposition," HOWs are often given to explain how something is different or better. Not as obvious as WHATs, many think these are the differentiating or motivating factors in a decision. It would be false to assume that's all that is required. There is one missing detail:

WHY: Very few people or companies can clearly articulate WHY they do WHAT they do. When I say WHY, I don't mean to make money - that's a result. By WHY I mean what is your purpose, cause or belief? WHY does your company exist? WHY do you get out of bed every morning? And WHY should anyone care?

When most organisations or people think, act or communicate they do so from the outside in, from WHAT to WHY. And for good reason - they go from the clearest thing to the fuzziest thing. We say WHAT we do, we sometimes say HOW we do it, but we rarely say WHY we do WHAT we do.

But not the inspired companies. No the inspired leaders. Every single one of them, regardless of their size or their industry, thinks, acts and communicates from the inside out. They start with WHY...

Get the book, watch the video!

Applying the 80/20 rule to my personal RAGE model

Last year I shared my RAGE model (Reality, Aspirations, Goals, Expectations) that could be applied to both personal and professional development (I also created a template that other people could download and use for their own use here). My aim was to make sense of my life-work balance (I used to call it the popular "work-life" balance, but later decided that life is actually more important than work, and now I use "life-work" balance instead. I'm not yet won over by the "integrated work-life" idea just yet although I see the point that you really can't separate out "work" as it's an essential part of your "life" - but I maintain the separation as it helps me categorise my personas better). 

I started by defining personas (basically activities like husband, father, professional, individual, friend, colleague, etc) where each persona reflected some facet of my life, that would consume time & energy. For each persona, defined related aspirations and goals for the year(s). As time is the most critical resource, I needed to understand:

• What activities were consuming the most amount of time?
• How did reality (of actual time consumed) compare against my wish-list of aspirations (desires, wishes, fancies)
• Find a way of relating my time spent on activities relative to the value / happiness gained from such activities

I used Harvest for time-keeping, which I maintained with as best discipline as I could, and started tracking all my activities from the end of January 2016 till December 2016. Going into 2017, I will continue to track my time, making a few modifications going forward.

Last year, my reading centred around self-improvement - I also studied the works of Richard Koch on the 80/20 principle (after having read about it in Tim Ferriss' 4-Hour Work Week). The 80/20 principle was inspiring and relevant to my experiment in exploring my life's activities. Since I was collecting the data of time logging my activities, I would have enough data to use the 80/20 tool to gain additional insights: Which 20% activities consume 80% of my time? Which activities do I most enjoy compared to my actual time spent? What are the vital few activities that have the highest impact in my life? What activities or personas did I start out with are actually irrelevant and can be assigned to the trivial many?

In this post I will examine 2016 under this 80/20 lens and share my revisions for 2017 year ahead. The experiment continues ...

I often get asked why do I invest my time in this experiment? Why do I share this stuff on my blog?

I believe in this experiment - when I started this journey I felt I really needed to inspect my life and not live on auto-pilot, doing the same things day in, day out (which most people do) ad infinitum. I wanted to examine myself, explore my value system taking myself to task: Am I really living the life I had pictured in my head or am I just fooling myself? When I began this experiment, I had not even heard of Tim Ferris or Richard Koch for that matter, or the group called Quantified Self. Now, after studying these people, I know I'm not alone in this, that reaching a state of self-awareness is crucial to making sense of the world, and most importantly coming to terms with reality and finding peace with ones self. Personally I've learnt that it actually does help to write things down, create personal plans and logs with some goals that can be measured and tracked using journals, introspection and other self-reflection tools (it does not have to be a thing assigned to your job in the workplace). This experiment calls me to order: why am I complaining I don't have enough time to pursue my own goals and interests? Why am I blaming the world and passing excuses on to others (like family commitments) when the reason for not achieving my goals comes down to just plain laziness, distractions & lack of motivation? Did I bite off too much that I could chew, am I being over ambitious? Do I need to slow down and see reality for what it really is? How do I adjust myself, re-calibrate on the few essential things that make me happy?

I write about this stuff because blogging is a hobby. It might not get me anywhere, I do it for myself, and take the risk of sharing this stuff in the public domain because it just also might be relevant to someone else, who knows. I also use this medium as an outlet. A lot of my blogging in the past year has been on self-improvement & self-discovery, both personal and professional, which is a phase I currently find myself in...the feedback I've got from both colleagues and friends have nevertheless been encouraging and thus further motivates me...I've shared the RAGE model with a few people, it strikes very interesting conversations indeed. Some people have even suggested I teach this stuff!

Inspirational Quotes

"Finding out what you love to do is a great feat in and of itself" – Derek Dolin

“There is no satisfaction that can compare with looking back across the years and finding you’ve grown in self-control, judgement, generosity, and unselfishness.” – Ella Wheeler Wilcox

“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” – Aldous Huxley

“There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.” – Benjamin Franklin

“It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself, but the most inconvenient one, too.” – H.W. Shaw

“The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.” – Muhammad Ali

For more quotes on self-discovery, click here.

2016 under 80/20 lens

Richard Koch's 80/20 Principle is a book that everyone should read. I'm not going to rehash the 80/20 principle, except state in the general terms of the greatest output / reward (80%) is achieved through 20% of the input (vital few), the law of non linearity and unbalanced systems; that 80% of success results from 20% of input.

On Self-Awareness: Happiness Criteria

In my previous post, I started sharing my lessons in Self-Awareness. The post was long and whilst broken down into sections, the feedback I received was that my posts are just way too long to read! So this standalone post talks about the section on Happiness Criteria. Check out the images of books that have helped in my journey to understanding Happiness. Disclaimer: I've not cracked it yet!

Happiness Criteria

Have you ever stopped to consider what makes you happy? I mean seriously think about what defines you as a person, and the things that you enjoy which in return provides you good feelings or sense of happiness??

As I described in earlier sections, we are the result of our upbringing, conditioned to think in a certain way, using a lifestyle framework that closely resembles our upbringing, our view of the world is impressed on us by our parents, family and close friends - until we start thinking for ourselves, and make attempts at stop living on auto-pilot. Our faith, values, principles all seem to come automatically, we live on instinct and on reflex, it is who we are, part of our core being - there seems to be no other way, or is there another way? 

The thought of breaking away from the norm, the group or community-think can be a pretty daunting one, so I contend that most people just take the path of least resistance, and are comfortable with their status quo. I have however, met a few individuals that are true outliers and have managed to break the typical stereotype - these people are few and far between though...


Take for example the typical South African Indian (4th or 5th generation), born into apartheid, working class (labourers below middle-class, uneducated or educated to primary school level, as was my heritage). Life was about working hard, getting an education as best as you can, earning an honest wage, support ones family, be content with the little you have, and maintain strong faith in your religion...

Happiness meant keeping the lights on, having food on the table, clothes on your back and a place to sleep. Over time, one has dreams about breaking away, getting an education, becoming a professional, working through the ranks, being recognised as an equal if not better (than the apartheid counterparts), gaining recognition, reaching a point of achievement. Start earning a decent income, buy your first car, travel a bit, then it's time to get married, soon after have a few kids, buy your first family home, spend the next twenty years working to support the family, pay off the mortgage, family vacations, etc...

Is this the picture of happiness, or could there be more??

Can you really measure happiness? 
What is the criteria for happiness, if any? 
How do you know you're happy? 
How do you know you're happy at work?
How can you tell you're heading in the right direction?
When was the last time you felt really happy?
Can you think back to a time where you were most happy, content and at peace?
How often do you find yourself tapping back into that memory?

These questions from Tim Ferris's Four Hour Workweek I found quite useful:
What are you good at?
What could you be best at?
What makes you happy?

What excites you?
What makes you feel accomplished and good about yourself?
What are you most proud of having accomplished in your life? Can you repeat this or further develop it?
What do you enjoy sharing or experiencing with other people?

I used to have a personal bias around people who claim to just "love" coming to work, that they have the "best time", work is so much "fun", that imagine getting "paid big bucks for something you love and would do for free anyway".... and I still do, because from my own background and experience, I couldn't bring myself around to seeing work as fun, as something you love. To me, it was always something that reality demanded, a necessity of survival... that people who can claim to love their work, are just plain old lucky. Honestly, it is quite a difficult bias to shake off...call it the school of hard knocks...

Measuring Happiness??

"Not everything that counts can be counted; and not everything that can be counted counts"  --Unknown

Say you did try to measure and quantify your happiness - how would you do it?

For me, I've started experimenting. It starts with my RAGE model - the personas that I've prioritised as being important and valuable to me, in both my personal and professional life. Assuming I can allocate time to the activities, duties, rights to fulfil those personas, then it follows that I should be reasonably happy. I've been measuring time spent in each persona since February, at the end of each month I tally up the times, and check if the time allocations are proportional to the level of importance of the persona...it's a start but doesn't get me to measuring real happiness.

Another experiment I've been doing for coming up to a year now, is measuring enjoyment at work. Every day, I log how I'm feeling at the start/end of the work day. Basically tagging each day into one of:

• Good (positive state, feeling positive vibes) - I really enjoyed working today: interacting with people, got results, got stuff done productively, won a debate, convinced people to see the light, received positive feedback, clients expressed appreciation, relationships positive, feel like I'm doing something valuable to customer and myself, learnt something new. I helped a colleague / friend, gave counsel, coached, mentored - people gave good feedback, appreciating my time. Positive emotions, increased energy and excitement, motivated and feeling of doing something good, something new, renewed sense of self-worth!
  

• Bad (negative state, feeling negative vibes) - Any event or trigger that causes me to wish I could work somewhere else, or wish going back to working with solid UK/International people. It could also be that I didn't win people over in debating, or failed to reach consensus, difficult arrogant people issues. It's bad when I just don't feel excited or motivated and I just show up for the sake of showing up for a pay cheque ("work for work"). I didn't learn anything material, but expended a lot of energy for no gain. Dragged down by negativity, incompetence or mediocrity. Mediocrity of others scaring me that I might lose the plot and end up following groupthink, i.e. become mediocre myself. Feelings of "I wish I was running my own product company", "If i were in charge, I will do XYZ differently". It is BAD because I feel have to put up with shite, because there's currently no realistic alternative path for me.

• Neutral / Indifferent (neither positive nor negative, neither stressed nor anxious) - basically non-eventful, couldn't care less or more, just run-of-the-mill, routine stuff. Stuff that ticks the boxes, doesn't say anything is remarkable, but nothing bad to cause me to slack, or get negative feedback or even get fired. Work is automatic - I still create my best work regardless, keep showing up, but nothing spectacularly awesome. Motivated by myself and own thoughts is OK. Basically routine, vanilla, bland stuff, nothing enticing - BUT - still showcases my consistent standard of work ethics (no regression). Neutral feelings, almost content with current status quo, not losing sight of my own endgame (work is a means to an end).

So my original thinking was to log these states (as crude as they may be), and depending on the distribution of negative states, which would signal unhappiness at work, should then trigger me into action of making a change: either leave the work or change my behaviours in some way. This is the crux of becoming self-aware, and a little bit of data analytics can indeed help along the way!

After one year, here's what my tracking data looks like (BTW I use Trello diligently):

It looks like I have a decent thing going on for my working life. Some bad days, some good days, but mostly neutral / indifferent. Should I focus on moving the Indifferent needle down, and boost my Good days up?? Probably, since this is most likely going to increase my overall happiness. Looking at my Personal (which is either study leave, training, sick leave, public holiday, family vacation, family emergency, state admin, car admin) time, this looks pretty good (by the way, I don't get paid for the days I take as Personal time).

So whilst I maybe on to something here via measurement, I still have searching questions:

Can I get any more happier by remaining in my CURRENT STATE, or does something need to change (change in my own behaviours or outlook, change in environment - same company, different team, different company same field of work, different company different domain, relocate to a new city, country) to get me to a FUTURE HAPPY STATE???

Look at my example - Could this tracking log HELP YOU OUT  in your current situation?

There's even an App for this!!! https://www.trackyourhappiness.org

Remember the saying "What gets measured, gets managed" - so should you start tracking your moment of happiness?