Started in 2011 as my outlet to share my experiences on personal life and work topics. My handle is khanmjk. My friends & colleagues call me "Mo". This blog is an experiment, work-in-progress.
Life: Self-awareness, personal development, growth hacking (quantified self).
Work: Software and Systems Engineering, Leadership, Management, New Ideas and OpEds.
In 2016 I started to be more intentional with designing my lifestyle across my personal and professional streams. Without studying deeply the literature or taking personal development training courses, I used my own work experience as a professional engineer to guide me in designing the framework, which I've called "RAGE" that stands for Reality Aspirations Goals Expectations. At the time, I treated myself as a product I'm building, using similes from agile software development, using the concept of Personas (typically products are designed to meet the needs of different user types, i.e. "personas"). Bringing these concepts into personal lifestyle design, I described my aspirations, goals and expectations in the form of agile user stories.
This helped me in framing my goals to realise tangible outcomes. Almost eight years later, I've maintained discipline in applying the RAGE framework, year-on-year in my pursuit of the various aspirations defined in each persona, i.e. as a Husband, Father, Professional, Friend, Individual, etc. Coming from an engineering background, I dived deep into prioritising these streams of life, first starting with 20+ personas, having stabilized on a handful of core personas from 2020 onwards.
Interestingly enough, this post, led me to learning about something called "The Wheel of Life". It so happened, according to ChatGPT, the exact date of the creation of the "Wheel of Life" model by Paul J. Meyer is not well documented in public sources -- but it is known that Paul J. Meyer founded the Success Motivation Institute, Inc. in 1960. Honestly, I'm not sure how I missed Meyer's model all this time, but I'm also comforted by the fact that I've created my own model from scratch through my own attempts in crafting a better version of myself through my RAGE model. Anyway, ChatGPT has helped summarize the differences between Meyer's model and Mo Khan's RAGE model in this post. I do like the radial diagram, which is something I hadn't included in my personametry insights as yet.
I'm writing this post in December 2023, the last post for the year - as I break away from the world and embark on a journey making the minor pilgrimage to Mecca (Makkah) for the first time in my life. I've waited a long time to save up for this journey, I made intention at the start of 2023 to do the Umrah, and by the grace of Allah (God), it is about to come true, finishing off 2023 with my most important '23 goal realised - Subhanallah (Glory be to Allah)! And aiming for Hajj (the major pilgrimage) in 4 years time insha Allah (God willing).
Work-wise, my last week was spent completing end of year performance reviews. At Amazon, we treat performance reviews with such seriousness, due care and attention to detail -- that I've never seen done before in other companies I worked with (a post for another day). For some time now, I have taken mechanisms from my work life and adopted to my personal life. Just as in my RAGE model, breaking down the different domains of life-work streams, I've used business performance scorecards in my tracking progress through the year of my personal performance. If we maintain work logs, performance cards, "baseball cards" for our jobs, is not more important to track our all our streams of life?
Why should we only focus on professional performance reviews and not spare a moment to deeply reflect our performance as a human on this earth? How are we doing personally? How are we performing across the various dimensions of our life? If we live by a value system, how do we know how we're measuring up to that value system? When the year has come and gone, how do you measure progress? Is it only career that matters? Surely not? If not, then why don't we spend as much time, if not more time, doing our own self-assessment and scorecards?? Are we afraid of the reality check? How serious are we in terms of changing ourselves for the better? How are we improving? Do we need to improve? When someone asks you "How's life? How you're doing?" - what's your frame of reference for answering that question? What's the first thing that comes to mind? Is it our work, career? If we're going through a bad patch at work, does this mean our whole life is negative? Often this is exactly what happens. People anchor on the immediate negatives, closest, most recent experiences because without a holistic value system to reference, how should one respond to "How are you doing, really?"
So how am I doing, really - what's my 2023 Performance Scorecard like?
I am sharing my own personal tracking here, not as a means to show off - but as a means to help people, providing an example of how I've managed to use a system that is working for me. This system, called RAGE, may not work for you - but it should give you an idea of the kind of work you need to do, the kind of thinking you need to apply, and the kind of discipline your should consider -- if you are indeed determined to make a concerted effort at changing your current situation, and creating a new trajectory you can aim for to improve the quality, outcome and other aspirations you desire.
Inspired by Vaugan from Scary ManagementPlaybook's LinkedIn post, here is my Wheel of Life, unpacked in detail, according to my RAGE model. In January '24, I will follow up with the data analytics on time spent in my personas. Given my RAG status, it looks like my wheel of life pretty balanced and aligned with my life-work-stream choices.
[I asked ChatGPT to report on the differences between Meyer's Wheel of Life and Mo Khan's RAGE]
Comparative Report: Meyer's Wheel of Life vs. Mo Khan's RAGE Model
Comparative Report: Meyer's Wheel of Life vs. Mo Khan's RAGE Model
Introduction
This report provides a comparative analysis of two influential personal development tools: Meyer's Wheel of Life and Mo Khan's RAGE Model. Both models are designed to enhance self-awareness and personal growth, yet they differ significantly in their approach and methodology.
Meyer's Wheel of Life
Overview: The Wheel of Life is a holistic self-assessment tool designed by Paul J. Meyer, a pioneer in the field of motivational thinking and self-improvement.
Components: It typically includes segments such as Career, Personal Growth, Health, Family & Friends, Finances, Spirituality, Recreation, and Physical Environment.
Function: Users rate their satisfaction in each area, visually representing life balance and identifying areas for improvement.
Application: Widely used in coaching and self-help, it guides personal development and goal setting.
Overview: The RAGE Model, an acronym for Reality, Aspirations, Goals, Expectations, is a framework for personal development conceptualized by Mo Khan.
Components: It involves introspection across various life 'personas', assessing the current reality, setting aspirations, establishing goals, and managing expectations for each persona.
Function: The model uses agile management techniques and a detailed scoring system for prioritization and tracking progress.
Application: Khan’s approach is detailed and systematic, suitable for those who prefer an analytical approach to personal development.
Holistic Approach: Both models provide a comprehensive view of personal life, emphasizing multiple areas or aspects.
Self-Reflection: They encourage self-assessment as a means of identifying areas of focus.
Goal-Oriented: Each model promotes setting and pursuing personal goals.
Personal Development: They are tools for enhancing self-awareness and guiding growth.
Differences
Complexity: The Wheel of Life is simpler and more visual, while the RAGE Model is more complex and analytical.
Approach: Meyer’s model is qualitative, focusing on self-rated satisfaction, whereas Khan’s model is quantitative, employing a scoring system.
Focus Areas: The Wheel of Life has predefined life segments; the RAGE Model allows for personalized 'personas'.
Tracking: The RAGE Model includes rigorous tracking mechanisms, unlike the Wheel of Life.
Background: Meyer's model stems from motivational training, while Khan’s is influenced by agile product management.
Conclusion
Meyer's Wheel of Life and Mo Khan's RAGE Model, while sharing the goal of fostering personal growth, differ in structure, complexity, and application. The Wheel of Life is a straightforward tool for periodic self-assessment, ideal for a broad audience. In contrast, the RAGE Model offers a detailed framework for systematically setting, prioritizing, and tracking personal development goals, appealing to those who prefer a more structured approach. Both models provide valuable insights into personal development, and the choice between them depends on individual preferences and the desired level of detail and structure in personal growth planning.
It is time for my yearly ritual of analysing my time spent the previous year. This ritual is one of analysis and reflection, setting up the stage for planning & making new intentions for the upcoming year, 2023!
I've been doing this exercise consistently over the last eight years! Am I crazy? Maybe?! I've become quite the data junkie, and I'm loving it!
I know that tracking every activity and accounting for every minute of one's life might seem like overkill to most people. I on the other hand, actually quite enjoy doing so! :-) Primarily because having insights into how I spend my time has really helped me be more conscious and intentional about my aspirations, goals and expectations covering all dimensions of my life, seeking balance and harmony in my personal and professional streams. My methods allow me to focus and maintain discipline with my time...
This is my value system that describes my streams:
Muslim | Individual | Professional (Work) | Husband | Family-Man | Social/Friend
When someone asks me the following: Mo, how's life? Mo, how are you doing work-wise? Mo, how's things? Are you happy? Are you meeting your aspirations? Mo, what consumes most of your time these days? I can have a sincere and authentic conversation about it.
Yes, as some of my friends have argued that you "just know" instinctively where your time is being spent, on what and you just know the areas you need to improve on. Sure, I get that and agree. I find it much more useful to validate my instincts, verify anecdotes with quantifiable data & metrics to help me answer such questions: Where am I spending my time? Am I spending time in the right areas according to my priorities? Am I heading in the right direction? How am I growing? Where am I in my stages of growth across all my personas? How do I measure success? Am I growing holistically as a person?
In 2015, I researched productivity and personal development methods extensively, culminating to me creating my own frameworks:
RAGE (Reality Aspirations Goals Expectations). Knowing yourself, i.e. what you stand for, your value system, by identifying Personas. For each Persona, define Aspirations/Goals that becomes your long term personal roadmap. What emerges from this is a scorecard that you can track your progress, see example from 2020.
PERSONAMETRY is another concept I created that essentially captures key metrics about yourself, TIME being our most valuable resource. If time is our most valuable resource, do we not owe it to ourselves to account for it? For each Persona you identify with, Personametry is your personal telemetry. It can be extended to a variety of use cases, including overall happiness/stress sentiment analysis. If you're keen to learn more, check out this product specification document I created years ago, but alas, haven't developed the app for it as yet (alas, no time, wasn't a priority!)
Personametry complements RAGE by providing data insights, that I use to analyse if I'm trending in the right direction or not. Keeping a personal RAGE scorecard helps me keep track of how I'm progressing against my personal roadmap. In the last eight years alone, these frameworks have helped me reach my highest potential in climbing up the career ladder (making CTO, executive role), becoming debt free and remaining debt-free for 7 years and-running, improve my marriage enhancing the foundations (insha Allah), and rekindled relationship with family members, including long lost friendships, develop a more consciously confident identity as a Muslim in the workplace, make big bold decisions of starting over in my career (like walking away from CTO and big financial incentives rewards, take a pay-cut and step down in role) or start my own consulting, also make time to focus on paying it forward by offering my time to coach/mentor for free, etc. RAGE/Personametry has also helped me in being critically selective of where/what/whom I spend time with, I've learnt to say "NO" more often guarding my personas and setting boundaries, even with my own family and dearest loved ones.
Emerging from this experience so far are some interesting learning experiences, such as how one's goals and aspirations can change with time, depending on one's stage of life. For instance, where I'm at right now in 2023, is my profession is no longer what drives me (I'm consciously not seeking out the next promotion or level up because I've been there already and experienced the life of an executive), as I'm now seeking new experiences centred on creating more purpose, meaning and fulfilment...Having said this, I remain a pragmatist and so am open to new job opportunities that more closely align with my value system (example: NGOs/NPOs looking for CTO/CIO expertise, Africa-friendly timezone working hours is also being considered). If you know of any opportunities in this area, do get in touch!
Analysing 2022 v 2021 - Data Analysis & Insights
Since 2016 I've tracked 24,983 (±25K) activities as data points, tracking my life streams as: Muslim | Individual | Professional (Work) | Husband | Family-Man | Social/Friend - thus logging 60,572 (±60K) hours with an error tolerance of ±0.5% (99.5% capturing accuracy). In 2022 alone, I logged 8,715 hours, of which: Professional Work consumed 23%, Personal Life 43% with the physical constraint of Sleeping accounting for 34%. Yep, we sleep for a third of our lives, and I have the data to back that up!
Suffice to say, I've made some good gains in 2022 that I hope to carry through into 2023. Check the slide show for the rest...
P.S. If you'd like to have a coffee/virtual chat about my RAGE/Personametry concepts, or you're curious to learn more, or seeking a mentor/coaching/networking opportunity or you simply want to learn about my workflows, then please get in touch!
I recently came across the GROW model which I think complements my own RAGE model quite nicely when it comes to inspecting aspirations and goals. It's all about seeking clarity through questions:
Goal - What do you want? What's your desired outcomes (Aspirations)?
What would you notice if you were performing in this area more proficiently?
What would others notice if you were performing in this area more proficiently?
What would be the benefits to your team / family / business / friends of you gaining proficiency in this area?
What is the short- and long-term impact of you not enhancing in this area?
Reality - What's your current situation? Be brutally honest about current reality.
What is the current state of your proficiency in this area?
What have you done till date to develop proficiency in this area?
What has helped your progress?
What has held you back?
How long have you been working on enhancing yourself in this area?
Where do you feel stuck?
What perceptions about yourself might be getting in your way?
Are these perceptions accurate? How do you know?
Options - Exploring possibilities / Expectations. What could you do?
What do you feel you need to gain proficiency in this area?
What are the possible actions you can take to enhance yourself in this area?
What else can you do? Probe deeper
Now that you are aware of the possibilities, which one would you try first?
What would you like to have happen?
If you do nothing, what will be the impact?
What does the wiser part of you tell you?
If you were coaching someone on enhancing themselves in this area, what might you say to them?
If there were no limitations/restrictions, what might you do?
What options are within your control?
Will - What will you do? Commitment / Next Steps?
What support do you need to be successful in your next steps?
What obstacles do you anticipate? How will you navigate them?
How might you motivate yourself when things get tough?
Who might be able to help you in achieving your next steps?
Tis the period of mid-year performance reviews in the workplace, so I decided to inspect my own personal performance with my time tracking metrics covering the dimensions that make up my life and work streams.
I've been tracking these metrics for a number of years already and at least once a year, share the analytics and insights from this lifelong experiment. I created the term Personametrywhich basically is about telemetry (metrics) about the self (personal). Feeding Personametry is a framework I've created for myself for personal and professional development, my RAGE model.
At the start of 2022 I shared insights from my past six years of tracking and also followed up another post zooming in on the 2021 year, highlighting the main time sinks and the impact on other related streams. I set a goal of turning things around in 2022 to get to a state of balance I enjoyed prior to 2021.
With half the year over, 2022 is fairing much better than 2021 - as I've been very intentional about the changes.
Here are the headlines (comparing 2022 with 2021 for the first 7 months, January to July):
Work hours is down 28%
Spirituality is up 53%
Family time is up 27%
Social time is up 75%
Overall "Me Time" is up 16%
Holistically then, my process of re-calibrating in 2022 is having the desired effect. I'm spending time in the areas I've prioritized without significantly compromising on a major stream like my work (work obviously provides for the lifestyle I'm grateful for).
For more insights, check out the embedded slideshow :-)
In terms of my overall happiness sentiment and tracking my aspirations and goals as governed by my RAGE model, I'll share in a separate post in September '22. I've started to warm up more and more to Mo Gawdats' happiness formula which has helped me in coming to terms with the turbulence I've experienced with my job/career decision to disrupt and reinvent myself...stay tuned for the next write up!
It's that time of the year when I review my personal time keeping metrics showing how I've spent my time over the previous year. I've been doing this exercise diligently since 2015, when I created a framework for myself called "RAGE" Reality, Aspirations, Goals, Expectations. Using ideas from software engineering and product management, I decided to map out my personal (life) and professional (work) streams across the many dimensions I was involved in (Muslim | Individual | Professional | Husband | Father | Friend | etc.). I focused on Timeas the key metric to track, since time is one of the most important resource that should never be squandered.
The idea is simple: if something is important to me, then I should be spending time in that area - but if I end up spending little or zero time on that thing, then that thing must have not been as important to me as I thought it was.
Tracking time allows me to answer questions like:
Am I spending time in the areas that are important to me?
Which areas am I over indexing on that negatively impacts my other steams, robbing me of value?
Am I giving each stream the necessary amount of attention?
What decisions do I need to make when the data and anecdotes (feelings / instincts) don't match up?
To read my 2020 review and reference my personal value system, click here.
2021 Re-starting Life & Work (again)
Driven by my personal planning through my RAGE model, 2021 was the year I hit reset. I uprooted my family and relocated from Johannesburg to Cape Town in December 2020. Earlier in 2020, I'd resigned from my C-level position of a very stable and secure job - at first - to take a year long sabbatical to work out my next move. This sabbatical was short-lived due to the uncertainty of Covid-19, I felt it too risky not to secure another job in 2021. I knew one thing for sure: I was no longer interested in building video entertainment technology applications "make people watch TV" and wanted to branch out into something else either in Cloud or e-Commerce. Thankfully I landed the first job I decided to interview for in cloud computing with AWS, Cape Town. A big departure for me because I was going back to core engineering building software, something which I've not done to that level of technical detail since 2010! I was also going to start as a senior manager and not a GM/CTO. So essentially I'd walked away from a high influence, high referent and hierarchical power, entrenched credibility and track record - to starting professionally all over again, from a "big fish, small pond" to being a "tiny fish, large ocean" fella, with zero credibility. I value learning new knowledge, building new relationships and gaining new experiences as more important than positional titles. My wife and kids also left their lives behind which we'd nurtured for a decade since relocating to Johannesburg (from UK), relocating and disrupting their lives to Cape Town with me - they too, hitting reset leaving much loved friendships, community and family-support behind.
So 2021 would bring a massive disruption to my personal, professional and family streams. Time will tell if this grand reset is working or not. So my personal time tracking data is now more important than before.
This post shares my time tracking data for 2021 compared to the previous 6-years for comparison. Resetting one's life personally and professionally is not an easy thing to do. I've learnt much about this experience that I hope to share in future posts. In terms of the key KPIs of time tracking, 2021 went as well as can be expected considering the unusual context & challenges of Covid-19. In this post I share only the data and limited insights. There's some soul-searching I've yet to do on making drastic changes to my personas, which at the time of this writing doesn't seem to be major...
With year one done, so far, so good...no major regrets although the data has shown I need to recalibrate some streams if I want to get back to previous levels of balance.
I completed reading this book today, within a week of purchasing it. It's been a long time since I've read a book this fast, given my time constraints, so that alone should say something!
Sharing my review on Goodreads and keeping the reflection notes from each chapter in this post for reference.
I was also smiling as I read Mohamed's views on value systems, knowing one's self, self-reflections and goals of living debt-free. These anecdotes tie in quite nicely with my RAGE framework I've been developing for the last 6 years now.
Goodreads Review
The title "To God through money" is what immediately caught my attention as I browsed niche book collection at my local coffee shop. That, and the author's name "Mohamed Geraldez". Who is this guy? How come I've never heard of him before? Is this yet another one of those self-made autobiography books I doubt?? Intrigued, I bought the book with mild curiosity.
It turns out the purchase was a good call!
I'm so glad to have learnt about Mohamed Geraldez. It's a book of hope, admiration, motivation and respect. It is also humbling. Why? Mohamed is an American, who found Islam (almost by accident?) and became a seeker of Truth that took him to far places on Earth, the deserts in North Africa, no less! For me, as someone born into Islam "it's what my forefathers always did", I am always humbled by stories from new Muslims.
Whilst Mohamed writes his memoirs as an aid for his progeny and generations to come, being the first Muslim - this book should be read by anyone, religious and non-religious alike.
Get a glimpse of Islam and how it attracted someone from the outside. Muslims can get a taste for balancing business and life.
Learn about business and entrepreneurship. Reflection points are shared to trigger "discover yourself" moments.
Mohamed Geraldez - thank you for courageously putting yourself out there by sharing your story!
Well written and suitable for anyone looking to improve their life, seeking answers or anyone looking for inspiration from diverse perspectives.
Highly recommended.
Useful Self Reflection Points for Life/Story Mapping
According to your parents, what was a particular characteristic you had as a child?
What did you accomplish as a kid that made you proud of yourself?
Did your parents' love story have an effect on your upbringing?
What trait from your childhood has stayed with you until now?
Do you think your early years had a massive effect on your current relationship with money?
What events from your youth indicated the type of person you would become?
Who were the major figures in your child rearing?
Did you grow up in an environment where you felt like you belonged, or did you feel like an outsider?
Has any death in your life affected you so much that you made a permanent change?
What are some of the biggest adjustments your parents had to make because of your birth? If they did not have to, why not?
Were you a bully or were you bullied as a child? If either, does this still bother you?
Is there something you regretfully did during your youth that you are embarrassed to think about now?
Were you exposed to an assortment of cultures growing up?
Did you yearn to belong to a group or were you content with those around you?
Did you grow up in a religious home?
How would you describe yourself in regard to religion? Atheist? Spiritual? Literal? Other?
What period in your life did you start questioning long-standing beliefs? How do you resolve them?
Are you still close to your best friend from childhood / high school?
Is there one person in your life who totally altered your life's trajectory?
How would you describe your relationship with your parents?
What is one thing you have done in your entire life that you wish you could take back? How have you dealt with it?
Are there people other than family members who helped raise you? If possible, give them a call to say, 'Thank You.'
Have you ever failed in starting a company? What were the lessons you learned?
Have you ever met a person or people that truly amazed you? What was it about them?
Have you ever conquered a great fear? What did you learn about yourself in the process?
Have you ever been culture-shocked? Where did this occur and why?
What has been the most transformative phase in your life?
Have you ever had a 'happiest day in my life'? If so, what caused it?
Have you ever had someone like 'Brother, Sisyer, Father, etc. I never had'? What made that person special to you?
What is one thing or event that if you did it, your life would be complete? What is preventing you?
Do you work well under stressful conditions? What helps you?
What are the different periods in your life that you learned a lot about yourself and the world?
Is there a dream or something of significance that you passed on in life because of barriers or difficulties?
Have you ever worked so hard at a job that you became sick? What kept you going?
What was one of the lowest points in your life? How were you able to bounce back?
What was the most fulfilling job you have ever had? What did you learn from the experience?
Have you ever been laid off or fired from your job? How did you deal with it?
What is the most expensive mistake you have made in your life?
Have you ever taken a risk, and it paid off? When did it not work out?
Has there ever been an instance where you went against your gut and regretted it? What about a time that you went with it and worked out?
Have you ever had mentors in your life? What did they assist you with?
Why is your best friend, your best friend?
Do you have any personal finance rules you live by? What are they?
Around this time last year in January 2020, I shared (in this post) how I tracked against my personal & professional aspirations of the previous year 2019, accounted for my time spent and narrowed down the major questions (and hence decisions) that remained open.
This was all before Covid-19 happened, but despite that disruption, I remained committed to holding myself accountable for realising my aspirations. I track these aspirations through a framework I created roughly five years ago, aimed at lifestyle design, something that is always a work-in-progress and is never complete. This framework is called my RAGE (Reality, Aspirations, Goals, Expectations) model. It has seen multiple iterations and has remained my guiding compass, even as I enter 2021 - the year of massive change for both myself as well as my family.
Looking back to 2020, it started with these open questions:
How do I get my work hours of the previous three years under control? What am I willing to walk away from?
Where next do I take my career? Do I remain with Pay TV moving further up to Group CIO/CTO or should I do something else altogether at the risk of going down a couple steps in the ladder?
How serious am I about working with, or starting my own NGO/NPO non-profit?
What am I going to do with my growing list of product / business start-up ideas?
Should I leave South Africa and return back to the UK; or should I relocate to another country whilst still working in Pay TV?
We all know how 2020 turned out - but - despite that black swan - I nevertheless wanted to be antifragile and took bold action to not play it safe! Instead I dove head first into uncertainty, however, I did lay out a detailed plan. Those questions I needed to answer were Type 1 decisions (according Jeff Bezos' types of decisions), which called for careful deliberation & planning. So, using my RAGE model as my guide again, along with inspiration from a few folks (authors, friends, mentors, coaches & critics), I was able to address those questions by taking the following BIG decisions:
I quit my job, my own sabbatical with no return policy - thus creating space for me to rest, recuperate & reflect. This wasn't an easy decision to make, as I was walking away from some rather good monetary incentives due to cash out in early 2021, and as a result of Covid-19, the prudent thing to do would've been to stick it out until the world recovered. Yet, I left anyway, putting into perspective What am I willing to walk away from?
This was only possible because 5 years ago, when I started my RAGE model, one of the aspirations for my persona as an individual was "To be debt-free on the road to financial independence". Since I was debt free, and maybe 30% on the road to financial independence, I had enough saved up to afford a break for at least a year.
Life is short, we've lost loved ones unexpectedly in 2020. I have tweaked my life model somewhat to weigh more strongly toward living a life of meaning, purpose & enjoying the present more.
I decided to leave TV behind - switch domains - do something else preferably in cloud services. I will use my sabbatical time to ramp-up and then land a new job. This too wasn't quite that easy:
I'd reached a peak in my career with a highly respected company in the industry, although I knew I had gaps to close to move to the next level. It took a long time to mentally let go, but I found my flame again that helped me remember my past as inspiration to change my future.
I even considered going to medical school - but that didn't make much sense financially in terms of my family responsibilities and commitments.
Being the practical guy, I ended up cutting my sabbatical short because I landed a job much sooner than I anticipated - and as a result - ended up making not only a new job decision, but also a relocation to a new city decision too!
Not serious about starting my own NGO - I spent a good few days unpacking this topic. I even went through a "finding purpose" retrospective and mind-mapped the options. Lo and behold, there appeared a golden thread throughout my life on working with blind and partially-sighted people. So I planned to use my sabbatical to explore that option...but that was short-lived. So decision: NO, not financially feasible for me. Instead I'll join accessibility-related community meetups at work, continue to donate money to causes and look to committing some of my time as a volunteer (which has been difficult, since it doesn't appear anywhere in my Persona priorities).
Not serious about being an entrepreneur because I don't have the time nor the resources to focus on it properly. I will rather focus my energy into innovating at work. I will still build and maintain my ideas repository because I'm an ideas guy - but if the timekeeping from the last five years has shown me anything - it's not that important to me - a wantrepreneur! I will still look at angel investing opportunities though. Thus "Being an Entrepreneur / Run my own product start-up" has been deprecated as a persona. It's actually such a relief to just let that go and leave it all behind! Shedding unrealistic aspirations reduces stress and anxiety, reinforcing a sense of perspective. A cup can only hold that much water before overflowing, the same with life!
Decided to remain in South Africa but instead try a new city, Cape Town. I was lucky to meet a career aspiration and a lifestyle aspiration (to live in a coastal city & enjoy nature) at the same time, but I'm still a little far off from having my own beachfront holiday homes so a 20 minute drive to the seaside is a good start though!!
Now, as I begin my 2021 journey, having addressed those serious questions, some of which were the cause of much stress and anxiety at the workplace, home & personal well-being fronts - 2021 will simply be about appreciating new experiences cross-cutting both work and life, aiming for harmony, acceptance, learning and growth (spiritual, personal & professional). My personas remain largely the same priorities, their aspirations and specific goals will be adjusted for the next set milestones. I have hit reset so the process of reinvention will take time, I'm not going to rush things by being overly aggressive in setting unrealistic goals!
I have indeed made Type 1 (one-way-door) decisions, making it very difficult to go back now. I have rekindled my flame and now it's up to me (as it has always been) to make my life more interesting and meaningful!
2021 is about re-invention.
I believe it can be done!!
As usual, I share my RAGE metrics with you - see below for my 2020 time-keeping performance...
Hint: Click on the images to view them properly.
If you'd like to chat about my RAGE model, tools and other frameworks I use to help manage my personal & professional life, please feel free to reach out! I believe as human beings we are all striving to make sense of our life/work/world, regardless of our culture, belief systems, etc. I believe I have found a method that could be useful...and I'm happy to jump on a video call with you for free life/work coaching! It has helped a few people already, so maybe that says something??
A recent post on LinkedIn that I casually commented on by sharing my own personal story about the time I hitch hiked a lift, travelling 600km overnight on a long-haul truck just to make a job interview on time. I commented on LinkedIn without giving it much thought actually. It nevertheless struck a nerve that made me realise I need to go back into my past, dig up the old memories to help ignite the fire-in-my-belly, thus provoking me out of a slumber zone that I found myself recently experiencing (even before covid-19).
The theory: by reflecting on my past stories, building blocks that "made me ME", I would be encouraged to continue moving forward with a renewed sense of energy and purpose. To become that bold, daring & courageous individual again. Someone who always went against the grain, never one to follow the herd or play-it-safe. An owner of my path, unafraid of uncertainty or the unknown, with a sense of curiosity in all things life & work, not swayed by people be they corporate executives, colleagues, friends or family. Equipped with my reliance on God and my confidence in my own strengths & abilities, having a strong sense of faith and fine-tuned instincts...daring to be different! How do I find that guy again?
After all, I have indeed successfully navigated through many challenges and obstacles in the past despite my background, to get to where I am today of which, I am immensely proud of, so why should I settle now? Should the next 20 years not be filled with even more?? But it seems my flame was dying out, so I began to ask myself whatever happened to that flame? How do I re-ignite it? Whatever happened to being that lion? Have I settled for a life of ease and comfort? Am I comfortable doing routine work? Why do I need to play the system, be under the radar just because I'm close to having made it? What's so important about job title anyway? Does my work really define my identity?
I needed to find my story again and was sure the clues were waiting to be found hidden in my past. I'm sharing this because just maybe, I'm not alone in this boat - that this exercise might be something others could find useful too, in helping you with instigating the change you seek. When I did travel back it time, it occurred to me how much my work or career defined my life!? Victim of circumstance or not, it was quite revealing that my profession which stemmed from being conditioned by the system of Life programming to work hard and survive - shaped my life's choices.
Still, I contend that over the years we tend to forget who we were (sometimes it could be argued this is a good thing depending on one's past circumstances). We also lose touch of our inner core. To some extent possibly even forget our own roots. We thus enter either a comfort zone of complacency or living life through wilful ignorance. That is, who we are today is not so clear anymore because we've forgotten our past!
HAS THE LION INSIDE OF ME BEEN TAMED??
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THAT FIRE IN MY BELLY??
My inner voice shouts!!
Have I really arrived? It can't be, but I'm still quite young!?
One of my greatest fears is to reach a point in my life where I'm resentful, i.e. of having regrets about missed opportunities. Taking the safe path instead of the uncertain, uncharted one. As we get older, start a family, climb the career ladder, the less inclined we are to taking risks, to upsetting the balance or causing disruption to our family's lives or to breaking away from accepted social/cultural or even professional norms.
There are indeed times when we need to be patient, be wise, show grit and resilience by deferring rewards for later (delaying gratitude), but this tactic too if used too often or unwisely, may just only be a crutch that we hold on to - because actually, deep down, we're afraid to admit that we fear the unknown, so we often settle for the safety net of waiting for that retirement pension as an example, to only then start enjoying life. In another LinkedIn post, I described this as Life Programming.
We seek out excuses, governed by rationality or play the sacrificial card of putting our own personal interests last, ahead of the rights of our family, spouse or children. We may have created a personal value system that expects self-sacrifice. We may make our worlds larger than what we can neither control nor influence (like we should be so grateful because others have it much worse than us, why chase the world when you're got it good now, look at the trouble in other countries, better to be thankful and let it be, don't be too ambitious, etc?). Sometimes we use our religion and faith in a way that promotes static stagnancy than taking on risks (why should I be an ungrateful servant by chasing this world of "dunyah"?). Sometimes we compromise our core values and passions because the money is just too good to resist. Sometimes we place unusually high notions about rights of the companies we work for, or attach sense of loyalty to our bosses or the teams we lead or work with. In our minds, this sacrificial attitude conjures up feelings of goodness, almost a saintliness, that can be blinding us from the hard truths...self-preservation is not necessarily a selfish act, after all, this world is fleeting, and we must therefore not waste ourselves with our limited time on earth, we each deserve an experience worth living...and to do so, action, re-action & forward momentum is needed IMHO.
Personally, I've been riding this roller coaster for some years now, so I created a model called RAGE, to help provide guardrails to prioritise the various streams in my life & help with decision-making rules (I'm an engineer after all). This tool has served me and others (friends, family & colleagues) quite well, I've received some good endorsements...
My theories are also shared by others, take for example Bernadette Jiwa, author of Story Driven, what she has to say about this topic:
We're so busy trying to connect the dots looking forward, we overlook the opportunity to learn from the experiences, not just the mistakes, of the the past. We don't spend as much time looking back as we should. I don't mean just to reminisce about fond memories or to regret stupid mistakes. But rather, to reflect on the significance of our stories, remind ourselves of our resourcefulness and reinforce our sense of identity. History, heritage and hindsight are powerful teachers. But we're in too much of a hurry to reach higher ground to learn from them....
I started my thinking & writing on this topic long before reading Jiwa's book, I'm really glad I did though. There's much more work on self-awareness that I need to unpack, for instance, Part Three "Developing Your Story-Driven Strategy" is packed with some of these soul-searching questions.
I'm still processing these questions in the background in the context of my RAGE model; and may just follow-up with another blog post, sharing them here for you to help your reflection:
What's the hardest thing you've ever done?
What did doing the hard thing teach you about yourself?
Who are the two people who have had the biggest impact on your life?
What did you learn from them?
What was your first job and what valuable lessons did you learn there?
What's your proudest memory? Why?
When are you at your best?
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would that be? Why?
What's the one thing you wouldn't change about yourself? Why?
How can you bring more of that thing you wouldn't change into your work?
Go back in time five years. What's the thing your old self would be most proud that you've achieved?
How would you like to be remembered?
The exercise: How to find the flame again & then make it stick?
Go back in time, rewind the clock to trigger memories that you think have shaped & molded you...just write whatever comes to mind...then study, analyse and look for common themes.
Take those themes and create affirmations (this is where it gets private and personal).
Write those affirmations down, keep them with you wherever you go.
Start your day with repeating those affirmations out loud to yourself.
Whenever you're in doubt or feeling glum, use your affirmations to get you out of that funk.
You should notice a change, soak this in, observe yourself in this moment.
Use this energy to immerse yourself in solving/creating your next challenge / opportunity.
Does this thing work? Is this some mumbo-jumbo new age thing?
Maybe, but all I can say this has certainly worked for me - so much so that I'm now out of my funk. This has helped me create yet another defining moment in my life that I'm living through right now as I write this...
My affirmations
I trust in God, have hope in God's Mercy & Generosity always.
I am always thankful to God. With God by my side....I...
I love my parents and am grateful to them, love my siblings and my family.
I love my wife & 3 children, my anchors in life.
I am driven, self-motivated & brave.
I choose courage over comfort.
I hustle.
I am a survivor.
I don't blame anyone for my circumstances.
I am not afraid of the unknown.
I am comfortable with uncertainty.
I have overcome many challenges in life.
I have shown grit, patience, perseverance.
I am determined to succeed.
I make calculated decisions.
I am bold.
I take chances. I dive in, sometimes in complete darkness, but I go anyway.
I am always moving forward, never looking back to "what ifs".
I break stereotypes.
I dare to dream.
I question the status quo.
I remain curious. Curiosity is a good thing.
I have taken chances in my life that paid off.
I tend to go against the mould.
I persevere.
I am relentless.
I keep going.
I have never depended on help from anyone unless help is extended.
I hold myself accountable for my own life.
I don't seek hand-outs, ever.
I value my relationships with trusted friends.
I seek their council & can count on when in trouble or difficulty.
I am grateful to all who played a part in helping me.
I help others in need whenever I can.
I have a responsibility to pay it forward to my family, friends and others.
I have always been responsible for my future.
I take responsibility for my life.
I fear no man.
I believe Nobody owes me anything.
I contend that Not everyone needs to like me.
I am comfortable with myself.
I am only in competition with myself.
I hold myself accountable to high standards.
I loathe mediocrity. I am always learning to improve and grow.
I remind myself often: The only one keeping score is myself, no one else.
I seek counsel from people but take full responsibility for the final decision.
I have confidence in my abilities.
I become an expert in a subject in a short time.
I know that every new endeavour will at first be uncertain and difficult.
I gain comfort in past memories.
I have what it takes to accomplish anything I set my mind to.
I trust my gut instincts and intuition.
I have initiative and drive - my past speaks for itself.
I have proven myself more than capable on many fronts life-and-work.
I am world-class.
I am an innovator.
I have walked away from many an opportunity when it just didn't feel right.
I started from zero a few times in my life, I can do it again if need be.
I do not hang around for the safety of a pay cheque.
I have walked away from many a past opportunity with no regrets.
I pave my own way, make my own path, with the help of God.
I strongly believe: Taking the safe, comfortable path has never been my way.
I alone am responsible for shaping my future career.
I cherish and nurture the networks I've created.
I look deep into my past to shape my future - adaptability is key.
I love and respect my roots, no matter humble.
I am who I am, my past is mine to own, my future is mine to create, my present is mine to act.
I know the only obstacle blocking my path is myself.
I hold myself accountable to my own value system, not other peoples'.
I am self-aware.
I am mindful of my ego & keep it in check always.
I am humble but I don't tolerate nonsense.
My Backstory
Here's some stories that are helping me re-ignite my flame...
I grew up not rich, not middle-class, not poor and not in poverty either. My ancestors came to South Africa from India as indentured labourers most likely to work the sugar cane fields in Natal, I don't know where from since there's no paper records to trace back to.
So I was exposed to the reality of the system of economics & social inequality as I grew up in apartheid. So I was always reminded about the reality "unfairness" of life, practicality, hard working humility, from an early age. We could not afford a car until I started working professionally, neither did we spend our childhood enjoying family vacations away from home. We sometimes didn't have the means to enjoy even the small pleasures of school excursions, school photos or even attend my final year farewell party of high school. Despite the lack of financial means, I can't fault my parents, family & friends for not sheltering us from these realities and filling our house & hearts with love, warmth & protection. My childhood was a blessing upon reflection, our elders did a great job providing psychological safety & groomed us to survive whatever challenges came our way.
My late father was indeed a blue collar shoe factory worker, a machinist, one of the best actually, who won many awards for his craft. Although earning just above the minimum wage for much of his life - he taught me so much about hard work, dedication, setting goals, patience, humility, honour, respect, bravery & frugal money management - that I never really had a chance to thank him in this life though. I was much too hard on him. In fact, I was quite naive! To the extent of living my life with a purpose of "never to become like my father" as I saw his lack of ambition and drive as a weakness not a strength. How naive was I!? I went through life with blinkers on, driven to be better than my father, to never become that guy who settled...alas, how ignorant was I, only to realise years later that I've got so much to thank my father for!!
Despite our financial difficulties growing up, I honestly can't fault my parents for not providing a safe, secure, humble, warm and loving home. Home was always our sanctuary, it still is - every time I go back to my parents home (which is now taken care for by my brother and I), I am reminded of where I started: the tiny room I spent my life studying in, the small house that was never really empty, always bustling with visitors, our food table always welcoming to many guests, the wonderful conversations I'd have with my elders about their past, discuss world politics and life...one should never forget one's roots, home is where the heart is...whenever I need to recharge and remember who I am, I find solace back home...
So I grew up with a practical head, my eyes wide open to the realities. I knew I needed to study hard, do my best at school. I started working part-time in high-school (following my elder brother's lead) whilst my friends were enjoying their teenage freedoms. At the age of 11/12, I was responsible enough to do grocery shopping & pay the bills, I knew what my father earned and the total running costs of the household. I grew up knowing that my duty was to take care & support my parents, siblings, etc. That I needed to pay it forward for my siblings and their children as well. I helped my father get his drivers licence and bought him his first car. My parents have been overseas, an idea that would've been impossible to even dream about growing up.
During high school, I had applied to hundreds of institutions for bursaries and scholarships, consistently for four years since grade 10, all through facing rejection but I never once gave up trying. I did this on my own, without help from anyone. I went to the library, enquired about bursaries, photocopied all the forms (there was no internet then), and I would send letters and apply to literally hundreds of companies (back then we just transitioning out of apartheid, the companies were not as diverse as they are today, and most of the bursary/scholarship forms were still in Afrikaans and had conditions like military service). I tried my best in high school, although I thought I could have scored more As, but I couldn't afford to send my papers for remarking and so settled with my grades, it was an A aggregate which was still nevertheless excellent. Even with these grades, it was a proud moment to be accepted to medical school...
I learnt through persistence. I taught myself computers by reading books even though I did not own a computer at the time. In high school, students were only allowed one computer lesson starting in Grade 9, I on the other hand, camped out the computer room everyday until the teacher granted me access, from Grade 7/8, break times, afternoons, etc. Later in high school, I would persistently complete the maths syllabus in advance, and learn new concepts in programming too. I demonstrated the same curious energy when I worked part-time at the retail store. Starting in sales, moving to finance clerk then made my way to the IT department, to being given freedom to run POS installations in branches by myself. Took the same persistence wherever I landed - be it in Dublin, where I closed the gap on my computer science, or in UK where I innovated a Talking TV EPG for the Blind, a personal project of mine. I took initiative, met with customers & spread the word inside the company, throughout the 4 continents, later landing the best, highly coveted technical position in the advanced technology division.
At the end of high school I was successful in getting placed at Wits medical school, but had to turn the offer down, because I lacked the financial means, couldn't get financial aid not even a bank loan.
At 18, that was quite a defining moment for me: A phone call determines my fate in medicine, I realise I really have no one to back me up, I had to do things on my own. That was the first major turning point in my life, bringing it all home - that I'm alone in this fight, it's up to me to work my way out. There were no adults in my family or friends that ventured to stand guarantor for a bank study loan for me. So I thought I'd just continue working and try to find a way to study part-time.
I had worked part-time at Asmalls in Pietermaritzburg as a teenager growing up selling shoes, clothes, working for retail, doing finance admin as a clerk and IT support. This hard work and "not standing still", got me noticed by the owner of this retail store, interviewed me and agreed to finance my studies when he learnt I was not studying. He took a chance on me. I am forever grateful. I chose engineering not because I had tinkered in building stuff growing up, but because it was the sensible degree to choose on paper as the next best thing to medicine, better than computer science (which was really my passion), providing the best of both worlds. Also, engineering jobs paid more, and I could start earning money sooner...so as usual, with no one else to guide me, I made what I thought as the practical sensible realistic choice.
I never gave up hope for bursaries or scholarships. This consistency of purpose paid off that in my 3rd year, I got through and landed a bursary from Vodacom. This enabled me to live independently and experience freedom (which wasn't always a good thing). I moved out of boarding with family to sharing a flat with fellow students, and thus learnt what it meant to live responsibly.
Eventually I would work for Vodacom during vacations setting up mobile base stations and doing drive-by quality of network experience testing. Vodacom was great in supporting me, unfortunately there was no automatic placement post graduation.
As much as I did not quite enjoy half of electronic engineering topics because my intended software courses dropped away, by that time I was very much fully committed to seeing the degree through in four years, so no turning back. I couldn't whine about it, just get on with it. I was thankful for the bursary and committed to work for the company even though broadcast/radio was not my thing, and assumed the job would naturally follow upon graduation, but it didn't. Even on completing my engineering degree, I turned down three jobs before landing a job in the field I'd studied! I did not want to waste my hard slog of four years by not at least experiencing the job of an engineer!
Eventually I would land a real engineering job with UEC outside my home city. I would bunk in the lounge at my student friend's flat, later would end up boarding at a distant family's residence, closer to the work. Ever ready to adapt to changing circumstances. UEC experience was great, no limitations as long as you took initiative. It was fun, stressful and sometimes quite intense. UEC set me up to take the leap to my life overseas.
After just one year of engineering training, I took a chance - responded to an advert in Sunday Times for engineers in Dublin, Ireland. I applied, without thinking what it actually meant, all I knew was that my best chance of earning money was overseas, and best chance of knowledge to work on core software engineering was definitely not South Africa. I left my home with one suitcase and R5000 in savings, landed in Ireland without having any contacts there, absolutely zero, apart from support from the company, S3. I was on my own, first time out of the country away from home, unknown everything and I started from scratch. In one year, I had made a life in Dublin, made new friends from all over the world, my eyes opened up to life, I wasn't the introvert I thought I was. I also adapted to a new lifestyle in Dublin very well, best social life experience, honestly, I never felt like leaving Dublin, ever!
Working in Ireland, in the "first world" was a real eye opener for me. I became consciously aware of my incompetence. My knowledge of software engineering was lacking compared to the "first world", I was a little behind my peers and lacking some depth of computing principles I either would've learned at university if my courses hadn't been dropped; or if I had studied Computer Science.
I had to ramp-up and teach myself all the things I should've learnt at university (if the courses weren't dropped). I ended up on a project that really stretched my ability, but I did not give up. Instead I dug in deeper and through this I had also secured a placement to study my Masters in Computer Science, from a world-class university, that would then bolster and take my South African education to another level, I hoped.
I also experienced my first-and-only layoff in Ireland, made redundant, something I wasn't expecting it. I was gutted. My world was about to shatter. I was just settling down to a nice routine, enjoying my work, good social network. Without much opportunity left in Ireland, I applied to UK since I did not want to return back to South Africa. Using my savings wisely, I remained in Dublin until I found a job in UK.
In between I got married. I completely funded the wedding myself, including the relocation to UK, etc. It was a simple, down-to-earth wedding, but I do take some pride that I did this all by myself, without asking anyone for any financial help.
One of my proudest milestones has to be raising my engineering skills to become recognised as a Principal Engineer in the UK, as a result of my innovating text-to-speech technologies to make a Talking TV, as a side off-the-work-books project.
Following closely behind was gaining my Masters in Computer Science from a world-class international university. These are important to me because coming from South Africa, it certainly means a lot. I remember some colleagues in Ireland and UK just scoffing sarcastically when I shared I worked for an SA company which they had previous interactions with (they held SA engineers in low regard at the time). The UK being a serious meritocracy where competition is tough, meant getting that job as a principal engineer for me was quite vindicating!
To know that I could hold my own amongst senior engineering peers, architects and managers who - I felt small compared to them - who had also applied for the same job as I, felt really good! Working with a small group of engineers, who's day job it was think up big ideas disrupting the market bootstrapping start-ups, was a dream come true for me.
I am grateful I was able to climb up both the technical and management career ladder in the UK and not in South Africa. IMHO this is because it is somewhat difficult in SA to decipher if your promotion was based fully on merit or whether a "previously-disadvantaged background quota filter for equity and diversity" actually influenced the decision making process. Despite South Africa being "free" for 25+ years now, there's still so much to fix in the corporate world. Let's just say, there's still a lot of biased perceptions going on in this country. Non-white people are still doubted here which is sad really, actually quite frustrating at times! So yeah, I actually derive great personal satisfaction and comfort in knowing I actually made it entirely on my own in the UK, based on my own merits, in what is probably the hardest parts of the world when it comes to high-performance "world-class" output. So this achievement is still my story worth cherishing.
My career was spent learning-on-the-job and through self-study. Whenever I started a new role, I would become expert in the subject matter, by reading & learning from others. I was not afraid to jump in the deep end, challenge status quo and be different. Always self-aware, I had a sense of what I needed to improve, but I never doubted myself. I remember a few internal interviews where I shared my ambition of being a Jack of All Trades, Master of Some, of running my own company one day, I was told I had too high ambitions, but that feedback never deterred me! I can indeed claim to be a generalist with specialist skills, I am indeed a Jack of all trades, master of some!
After 10 years overseas, I decided to return to SA. It was a scary decision to make - leave the life we were building that promised a good future for our kids, we had given up SA citizenship (the thought of returning to SA was alien to us for many years), then we made a U-Turn to return back to SA!!
I had zero savings, no private pension to cash out, which meant starting from zero again, but this time in debt, with a wife and three kids to support. To boot, the job I landed in SA was a junior one as well - but I returned anyway, I embraced the uncertainty nevertheless.
The decision was emotionally biased as well, dispelling much logic or rationale. I recall coming close to a nervous breakdown realising missed opportunities in SA as one example. So I felt we needed to return home to be closer to family. I also wanted to allow my kids to open there eyes to real world problems and challenges they wouldn't normally be exposed to had they continued to grow up in UK. At the time UK felt boring and perfect, whereas Africa felt more vibrant and alive!
After experiencing work in South Africa, I soon realised that my education, training and work-experience was on another higher level compared to the local talent. I could provide much more value working at higher levels, close to director / CTO level. I thus quickly gained respect and credibility to get promoted to running pretty much the entire project end-to-end. Yet another personally rewarding experience for me, since in the UK I would've been a couple levels below that of program director, but in South Africa, I became THE CHIEF Program Director - how exciting!! I realised that whilst I sacrificed financial rewards in UK, my knowledge, skills, experiences gained there, paved my way forward to own and confidently perform senior roles in SA that would've taken me a few more years to reach had I been in UK. It was also quite eye opening in terms of the skills gap and opportunities in South Africa. Equally revealing was that I could in fact, return back to the UK with senior management/executive experience, something that would've taken me far longer to break through had I not left the UK in the first place.
After a couple years working in SA, I was not happy with the work. I felt I needed to operate at a much higher level really. The work began to feel very routine and no longer challenging, because I was operating on skills & expertise from UK on autopilot. The projects I was running, whilst "state-of-the-art" for South Africa, was quite old news to me since I'd done them before, years ago. I considered myself an expert in that field of work (set top box engineering) and therefore I needed to change.
Me being the hustler I am, I convened a meeting with the executives, pitched my offering to them, explained I could provide so much more value to the group if I was set free, used the "tamed lion" analogy - and successfully negotiated an exit agreement that saw me start my management consulting gig. It was a win-win for both sides, as I'd continue to support the business as a consultant, and be free to branch out to other technology & business projects within the group & external non-compete companies as well. I took a chance, was brave to leave comfort of a secure, stable job...but it paid off!
So I decided to leave the comfort of a permanent, secure job and good career progression; to become a management consultant into unknown territory! This opened up a few opportunities, expanded my network and also exposed me the the bigger world of business. In a relatively short-period of time, I cleared my ALL my debt, and our lifestyle started to surpass that which we had in the UK, although I've remained very disciplined not to let my lifestyle follow the gains made. So leaving the comfort of a permanent job, trusting in my ability to venture on my own, taking chances, building professional credibility did pay off.
I would again later leave management consulting and rejoin the collective again to take up a challenge of being CTO, yet another change that stretched my potential. Why did I do this? I had a safe consulting gig, with a good pipeline of work, in control of my own time, working at times a four-day week, and earning good money. I was relatively independent and free. Then I decide to join the matrix again, become part of the collective. Why? Because I wanted a new challenge and was becoming bored of consulting. I also wanted to prove to myself I could switch career tracks again, go back into technical, and prove myself & the sceptics wrong. I am very glad I did so, got to work with a great bunch of people, learnt so much & achieved very good results. The experience provided everything that was missing in terms of my next career jump - and in terms of the original goal I'd set myself, i.e. to be a Jack of All Trades, Master of Some, equipped with the tools to run my own start-up company one day, I believe I've done it. I have the ability to run a company if I wanted to, or lead very large teams as CIO/CTO...so what's my next challenge then?
I tend to get bored once I feel I have acquired mastery or proficiency in an experience. I usually give the job a minimum of 24-30 months to acquire a high level of competency, anything longer ranging between 3-5 years (depending on the project or requirements of the role), I consider optional or sufficient time to reach a higher level of mastery. I do try to finish what I've started or at least aim to leave at a point in time where I know it is safe to let go and pass the baton on.
I do take care not to burn bridges, this is very important. I've learnt that having the courage to leave it all behind and walk-away is actually not so bad, in fact my experience has taught me it is quite a healthy thing to do! I've hit reboot a few times already and it wasn't so bad. Life & work goes on - one should never feel one is indispensable, that's just pure hubris! Life is about exploration, standing still can't be an option.
As I've recalled these stories from my past, I felt the energy build up creating a burning desire to do something different yet again! I have accomplished many feats in the past, so I can definitely accomplish much, much more into the future! I decided again to not settle nor to stand still. The next twenty years I have left in my life can definitely be as interesting, if not more exciting and rewarding than my past twenty years!! It is indeed time for another change! I'm about to fill in the gaps in my life/work plan that I shared previously....
